Episode 153

Episode 153 Transcript:

Kyle And Sara Wester (0:0.896)

Okay, this is going to be the intro with our interview with Jamie Edelbrock. Jamie Edelbrock. Okay, so here we go.

Kyle And Sara Wester (0:15.574)

I know as a parent, there's many times in life when you're with your kids and you're thinking, what are they doing and why are they doing that? Is there something wrong with my kid or is there something wrong with me? I know we have definitely been there as parents ourselves where we're caught off guard by certain ways our kids are reacting to something or certain problems that arise and you're conflicted about how do I get my kid help or

Is this something that my kid even needs to go get help for? Or is this something I need to get help for, for goodness sakes, right? And typically the answer is possibly A, A, O, D, all the above, right? Or whatever the letter is, you know, is, is so many times we think our kid, okay, I'm gonna set this over. Okay. That was good. That was actually good, but take two, take two.

Kyle And Sara Wester (1:3.404)

When you're parenting kids, know, there's all the times there's these moments where you're thinking, why is my kid doing that? Or what are they doing now? And how come they're reacting this way? Is there something wrong with them? Is it anxiety? Is it depression? Are they neurodivergent? You know, and all of these questions may pop up or maybe is this an issue that I need to work on me for? Well, today we wanted to bring on a special guest, Jamie Edelbrock. She's an author who has written a book

just about that. She's written several books, but specifically we want to dive into one of her books she's written where she shares her story and you're going to really be fascinated by her story and how she came to the conclusion that change begins with me. It's something Sarah and I are obviously very passionate about on this podcast. The parent first approach that many times parents bring their kids to get help, whether from a therapist or another trusted adult, because they think there's something wrong with their kid that needs to be fixed and they're worried and they're afraid and they're concerned.

But actually it's relieving to find out that if I change, it's going to exponentially help my kid be able to change too and be able to be healthier because they see me go through that journey with them. So you're going to love taking just a moment today to hear her story and to hear about not only this book that she's written specifically to help parents understand that process, but also several other books too that are specifically written to help you and your kid better understand each other and work through.

fear and conflicts and, and therapy and all those different types of topics. Okay. So before you jump into the, before we jump into the conversation, take a moment and please like this, uh, share it, uh, leave a comment rate and review it. All of these things or whatever platform you're on really help us be able to be seen by more and more parents. And it's so cool to see more and more listeners every day jumping on to get help for their families. And so we are just so

I'm encouraged and grateful by the comments we receive from you, the emails. And if you yourself are thinking after this podcast, man, I want to get help. I think I need to get up. need to get some coaching. Reach out to me at kyle at art of raising humans.com. And I would love to set up a quick call with you to see how we could possibly help you. enjoy the podcast today and take a moment to get the help and the support and encouragement you need for your family.

Kyle And Sara Wester (0:1.432)

Hello and welcome to the Art of Raising Humans. I'm Kyle. Hi there, I'm Sarah. And Sarah, you know, there's so many opportunities we get to help so many families, you know, so many different types of kids going through so many issues. But something that we're really passionate about, have always been on this podcast, is that change starts with us. Yeah. You know, we really strongly believe in a parent first approach. And I think every parent can relate to the feeling of thinking, what's

wrong with my kid? Why are they doing that? Or is that normal? And they'll have these kind of feelings and think, should we go see a therapist to go fix our kid? Or should we go get them tested and all these kinds of thoughts? And those things are scary sometimes. And you feel very vulnerable in those moments. Yeah. And so that's why today we wanted to bring on an author who's written about these kind of books. And so today we want to welcome Jamie to the podcast. And Jamie has

First I want to say hello, Jamie. Thank you for coming on.

Jamie Edelbrock (1:1.120)

Hey, so happy to be here.

Kyle And Sara Wester (1:2.710)

And Jamie, you've written three children's books that really help articulate different aspects of what we're discussing here. I mean, we'll dive into some of those in particular, but I'd love for you kind of just to tell our audience your story about just how you came to this realization as you were running to issues with kids. Cause I know you had tons of experiences working in a daycare type setting and seeing a lot, but then also seeing issues with your own kids. So kind of fill us in on what, what, what inspired you to write these books?

Jamie Edelbrock (1:31.436)

Sure. Well, first and foremost, my kids inspired me to write the books. You know, I see life through their eyes and I really wanted to give them a message. The first book Tangled Up was actually a letter to my daughter who was struggling and I thought she needs to see a therapist. And so I wrote this letter to her kind of explaining who therapists are and what they are and what they do. And then I thought, hey, a lot more kids need to need this as well. Yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (1:59.564)

Yes. Yeah. Well, I think, I think there's a lot of kids are brought into it, uh, to the idea of therapy, even, even when they come see me at the private practice, that there's something broken in them. Um, you know, there's some kind of shame element about it. Um, there is this stigma of, man, I I'm so different than all my other peers. Why do I gotta go see this person? And sometimes, unfortunately, parents have used that to say, you keep acting up like this, you're going to go see a therapist, right?

Jamie Edelbrock (2:28.554)

Yeah, it's punishment and then it seems scary and they don't know what to expect. They think of it as like an authority. And the first thing I realized when we really started our therapy journey was that it's not like that at all. Therapy is actually a gift you give to your child when you give it to them, but also when you go yourself. And in my book Tangled Up, I really wanted kids to see that it's not scary, that it's a gift and it's something that can genuinely

Kyle And Sara Wester (2:32.002)

Mm-hmm.

Jamie Edelbrock (2:58.613)

help you. And they're on your side. They're on your team. You're not in trouble. There's no, there's nothing bad about it. It's going to be okay. And they understand and that kids aren't alone because so many kids feel this way. Should be an, I'm an advocate for everybody should be in therapy. Everyone should be able to talk through things. And I really wanted the kids to know therapy is okay. It's not scary. And you're not alone. Everybody feels this way.

Kyle And Sara Wester (3:18.414)

Yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (3:27.810)

Yeah. And I'd love to demystify too, for a lot of parents who are hearing this, that therapy, um, if done well, doesn't have to be something that's like a magical thing that's happening. really is this space that I think many of us wish we had as kids ourselves. know growing up, I would have loved to have an adult that was skilled to listen and to actually just, just be able to create a safe place where I could share the things I was conflicted about or worried about or anxious about.

And I know lots of you just didn't feel safe to do that because you didn't know first what that adult was gonna think of what you said. They might judge you and think you're bad kid for doing, or they're probably definitely gonna go tell your parents that you thought these things are. And so then you might get in trouble for your parents. So I think the gift that we always try to provide for kids is a place for them to come where they feel safe to just be seen, to be known, to be heard. But even then, I want you, Jamie, I know before we jumped on this conversation, we were talking about how

Jamie Edelbrock (4:18.175)

Yep. Yep.

Kyle And Sara Wester (4:23.906)

there are some misconceptions that a lot of parents do think it is to fix a kid. It is like my kid's broken, you're going to fix them. And we strongly don't believe in that and neither do you. But I would love to hear like your own personal revelation of that, how you came to come to understand.

Jamie Edelbrock (4:29.278)

Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (4:39.676)

Sure, sure. I would love to share that. It's been quite the journey. To start off with, I grew up in a house that was very authoritarian, dictatorship type. And so I didn't really have good examples of what good parenting would be. I love my parents, but I didn't have those good examples. And I grew up always being around kids. I started working with kids at an early age, eventually director at a preschool.

I was the Children's Family Ministry Director, always, always, always with kids. And I even started a homeschool co-op. So I thought I knew kids really well. And I'll never forget, I was at the preschool I worked at and one of my daughters started throwing a fit in front of everybody. She was yelling at me, screaming at me, throwing things. I know now it was anxiety, but in that moment,

I thought something was wrong. And then it just started getting worse, being called home from field trips or escaping from class, doing things that in my mind, she was being disobedient and she needed to be fixed. At home, she would rip things up or be mean to me or whatever. And because of how I was raised, I absolutely thought she's being bad. There's no way I could be wrong. There's a saying growing up for my parents, I'm right even when I'm wrong.

Kyle And Sara Wester (6:6.379)

Oh wow.

Jamie Edelbrock (6:6.536)

And so you just, you know, you just think, okay, I'm the parent, I'm right. They're clearly bad and they're doing this to bug me or to bother me. Um, it got to a point with me as the director having to go pick up my own child from a field trip because she was misbehaving or so I thought was misbehaving. Um, I pulled over on the side of the road and I just started crying and I was like, she needs help. I didn't think I needed help. I thought she needed help. And, um, I pulled over.

called an office to get a, you know, therapy office to get an appointment scheduled and you know, it was going to be a couple of weeks. And I remember saying, I need help now. Like she needs help now. And they were like calm. And I didn't realize why are they so calm? this is happening now. And we eventually go to our appointment and I was like, tell her, tell her what you did. Like tell her how bad you're being. And the therapist didn't even look at my daughter.

Kyle And Sara Wester (6:51.316)

you

Jamie Edelbrock (7:5.833)

She looked straight at me and said, nobody's in trouble. And I just like, cause in my mind, yeah, she's in trouble. She is in, and she's been in trouble for months. And she said, she's not in trouble. And then she said, she had, she actually handed me a fidget toy. could see how she's like, yes, she handed me a fidget toy and she said, how are you doing? And what are you doing to get help? And that just rocked my world.

Kyle And Sara Wester (7:23.341)

She's like, here, use this for your anxiety right now. That's awesome. That's great.

Kyle And Sara Wester (7:34.371)

Yes.

Jamie Edelbrock (7:35.377)

because I didn't think I was the issue. I didn't even realize I had anxiety. I didn't even realize there was anything wrong. looking back now, holy cow, did I have anxiety. Holy cow, did I need help. I needed someone to hold my hand and help me parent. And even though I have all this experience with kids and I was great with kids, I still am great with kids, the issue, I was seeing the wrong issue. The issue wasn't that my daughter was being bad.

Kyle And Sara Wester (7:56.450)

Yes.

Kyle And Sara Wester (8:3.448)

Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (8:5.340)

The issue was that she had anxiety and I was going about it all the wrong way. And I needed to be, I'm the one that needed help to figure out how to help her. And so by taking her to therapy, I gave her a gift, but then I also gave myself a gift by going myself and me getting help. And that's really started our journey with therapy. And I think like you mentioned earlier, being that safe space for kids, kids don't always want to talk to us.

Big kids or little kids, you add another trusted adult into the scene and you're helping them become independent. You're letting them know you trust them. There are so many good things about another trusted adult in your child's life because you can't do it alone. And a lot of time we put that burden on us. Like we have to do it by ourselves, then we have to do it right. And then there's the guilt of when things mess up, when we mess up. But no, is absolutely, therapy is...

absolutely a gift and having another adult in your child life and in your life just to be able to say what's on your mind is huge.

Kyle And Sara Wester (9:14.178)

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I, I, think I love how you say it's a gift because it really is, you know, we, even if talking to someone else in your circle is so wonderful and helpful, but having someone who's just outside of your world, that that is a safe space to take anything to is a gift for your child. And it's a gift to you. How did you, I think it is really hard. I, in my,

Jamie Edelbrock (9:20.709)

Mm-hmm.

Jamie Edelbrock (9:26.908)

Yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (9:42.028)

Am I thinking about it, you know, as a parent, we love our kids and it's so easy to fall into shame. What do you mean? I'm doing something wrong. Um, it's also really easy to be so scared of taking that step to saying, okay, I am going to go outside in my circle. How do I find, you know, how do I trust this is very scary? I'm bringing my child. What if they do tell me I'm a bad parent? What I mean, you were kind of sharing how you were.

Jamie Edelbrock (10:5.872)

Yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (10:9.794)

dealing with those, but what would be your thoughts or just what would you share with other parents who are thinking, okay, maybe I'll talk to a counselor.

Jamie Edelbrock (10:19.258)

No, I would say if you have that little idea of maybe I should, then you definitely should. I think everybody should look into it regardless, but if you have that in the back of your mind, then yes, you absolutely should. And it's, I say this all the time, but it's not about you. It's about your kid. If you're thinking, like if you want them to thrive, giving them that extra.

like person and the extra space is, it is like I said, it is a gift. I would tell them, take the shame, take the mom guilt, brush it off. Your story is yours and your child's. It's not anybody else's, it's not anyone else's business. And because you go, doesn't mean you're a bad parent. I think it actually, makes you a better one. So, so that I think,

Kyle And Sara Wester (11:14.764)

Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (11:18.671)

If we could erase all of that mindset of like therapy is bad and it means there's a mental health issue or you're bad parent or you can't do it or you're failing. That's a lie. I think that's fear mongering and I think, I don't even know where that started from, but I definitely had it. I definitely have that fear. I know it's very real. I would just tell parents to take that brave step and do it. If you have that, maybe I should because we don't have the answers.

Kyle And Sara Wester (11:36.344)

Yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (11:45.842)

Well, it's interesting, Jamie, as you think about it, so many people would go to a personal trainer and think, I need help with how to work out. I don't know how to use all these machines, you know, or they would go to get some leadership coaching or business coaching because they would assume they don't know everything about that subject. So they go get some help, you know? So I think the fear comes in of like somehow.

Jamie Edelbrock (11:57.084)

Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (12:5.243)

Right. Right.

Kyle And Sara Wester (12:9.568)

I'm expected to know this, I should already know this. And so by saying, don't know this, that infers that I'm a bad parent in some way, you know? What was that kind of there for you and having like, but by me saying I need help on this, it means I'm already screwing up, you know?

Jamie Edelbrock (12:17.144)

Right, oh absolutely.

Jamie Edelbrock (12:24.974)

Yeah, because well, especially my line of work, I'm the expert, right? I'm the expert with the kids and the parents. No matter what I was doing, I was the leader, I was the expert. Even in church, was, you know, leader of a mom's group. I was supposed to have it all together. And just because you go to therapy doesn't mean you don't have it all together. I think it's actually the opposite. I think it means like we do have it together. And they will soon find out probably after the first couple visits, how much more put together they feel.

once they go to therapy. And like I said, it shouldn't be just a child going to therapy. It should be, if the child's going to therapy, the parent should be going to therapy as well. all of my kids, we have therapists, different therapists, and then I have my own. And it has been a game changer. It has been a game changer. And I talk to their therapist, I tell my therapist, like, what's going on and just the different advice and perspective.

Kyle And Sara Wester (12:54.050)

Yeah. Yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (13:3.244)

Yes, yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (13:13.228)

Hmm.

Jamie Edelbrock (13:24.031)

and the sense of security and confidence that my kids have now. It has been a complete game changer.

Kyle And Sara Wester (13:32.194)

Yeah. Yeah. love that you share that because that's what I have seen in families where you, you are putting yourself out there, right? It feels a little vulnerable to step into a room and just say, here's the whole mess in my life. Right. Cause we're not taught to do that. We're taught to, have it all together. I'm really great. And that's the place you're supposed to put on. And then this other space comes along, but the relief that comes from that to be able to say, here's my mess and have someone come alongside of you.

Jamie Edelbrock (13:40.741)

Thank

Jamie Edelbrock (13:46.701)

Right. Right. Right. Yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (14:0.968)

is beautiful and it's encouraging and for your children to know that, know what, I don't have to have it all together. I can go, there are people who will be there with me and we're all growing. We all make mistakes and that's what we're showing our children. And by stepping up, like you were saying, by saying, you know what, I'm the parent, I'm going to get myself somebody who can come alongside me. And you're modeling that to your children because then they grow up thinking,

Jamie Edelbrock (14:24.837)

Yeah. Yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (14:29.934)

All right, this what we do. We surround ourselves, we get the help we need and we grow and we continue growing. Yeah, well, and I even love that about I love it about kids to Jamie that if you think about your story, you never you may never have gone and gotten the help you needed personally without the problems that your daughter was presenting at that time. And I think so many families run into that, where they are okay, possibly saying my kid needs some help.

Jamie Edelbrock (14:33.413)

Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (14:37.228)

Absolutely.

Kyle And Sara Wester (14:57.752)

but the ability for me, I need some help. And I know for Sarah and I, when we're coaching parents and helping parents who come with that mentality first, like my kids having some issues, but I really believe if I got some help, that would help my kid. That's a game changer. And you see really no shame in the kid. The kid, by the time the kid comes, the kid's like, hey, mom, dad, give me some time. The kid wants some time because they see how much it's helping the parents.

Jamie Edelbrock (15:17.080)

Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (15:22.328)

Yeah. Yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (15:22.860)

And so I'm curious, how did that journey, starting with your daughter, getting this revelation of, wait, maybe I can work on me. How would you say that has shaped you and changed you because you embraced that step to first help yourself to then help your daughter?

Jamie Edelbrock (15:40.003)

I think will help my anxiety first of all, because I didn't have to do it all by myself anymore. I have a husband who travels all the time, so I am home alone with the kids. I don't always have someone there by my side. so having someone there with a different perspective and who I know is on my side and who I know can help me navigate and calm my anxiety, not that it's completely gone.

Jamie Edelbrock (16:8.293)

Just someone that I can vent to, and it's so easy to vent to our kids sometimes, and they don't wanna hear it, or that might hurt their feelings or whatever. Having someone just to talk to has changed, has given me patience, more patience, it's helped my anxiety, it's helped me embrace each of my children's unique identities. They're all so different. like I see them now as individuals.

Kyle And Sara Wester (16:29.026)

Yes, yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (16:36.993)

versus a part of me or a piece of me. And that they are going to, I was given the perspective, like, hey, they're going out into this world as their own human, their own being, their own, and so different from me and from my story. So yeah, it gave me that perspective that they need the best springboard to go off into the world. And by

by finding my own health and letting them have another adult. They're given the gift that as adults, they can get help as well. And it's okay. Instead of, I think it's breaking that barrier. Instead of when they have trouble and they might not wanna come to me, knowing that they can reach out to someone else and it's okay and it does help them, that's huge. So I think the biggest thing I did was shift my perspective on them as individuals.

Kyle And Sara Wester (17:16.770)

Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (17:36.630)

And Anne had a parent, for sure.

Kyle And Sara Wester (17:38.434)

What also sounds like what I think it does as well, and you kind of hinted at this, it makes vulnerability normal. It makes vulnerability as something that's seen as helpful. Whereas I think lots of times kids when they're growing up, they see vulnerability exposes them and it increases the likelihood they could be harmed or rejected or whatever. And so just among peer groups, they might not get that, but if they had a space and they see our parents,

are valuing that they're prioritizing this. I love how Brene Brown says that, that she talks about in her wholehearted parenting manifesto where if nobody on who's listening has heard of this, go check it out. But they're one of the steps in there. She talks about how joy is the result of vulnerability. That when we're able to actually be vulnerable with each other, we can actually enjoy each other, enjoy the moment. So there it's like, that's what I feel like the gift you were giving to them, but also giving to

Jamie Edelbrock (18:19.949)

Thank you.

Jamie Edelbrock (18:25.549)

Yes.

Jamie Edelbrock (18:32.272)

Yeah, absolutely. I think you hit the nail right on the head there. That's absolutely. And we are so much so in our house as well as they are with their trusted friends. They've learned a sense of who they are as well through therapy, that they are becoming more confident just like I'm becoming more confident. So they have no trouble calling me out. They have no trouble and I have no trouble now saying I need to

Kyle And Sara Wester (18:54.336)

Yes, yes.

Jamie Edelbrock (18:58.879)

not you go to your room, you get your, I'm like, maybe, maybe I need to get off my phone for a minute and just go sit, go take a nap. So they, it's like, become, we've become, um, humans together instead of parents and children. That's what therapy really has, has done. Um, yeah, that's been huge. Yes. Yes. You take it. Yes.

Kyle And Sara Wester (18:59.074)

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Exactly. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I love that.

Kyle And Sara Wester (19:18.526)

I love that. Maybe we should use that as like a motto for Art of Raising Humans, becoming humans together. Oh my gosh, we're gonna totally steal that. I love that. That's our underlying thing. Yeah, becoming humans together. I like that.

Jamie Edelbrock (19:29.644)

Take it, yeah. Because we're all so different, right? And I think as parents, we honestly think they're a piece of me, an ascension of me. When people see them, they're gonna see a reflection of me. And you're not doing any favors by doing that for your children. Letting them be themselves and express themselves and be who they truly are, a lot of that starts, that confidence starts when you have therapy.

Kyle And Sara Wester (19:59.266)

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point. I mean, just the whole idea of letting them be them and coming alongside of them and that's being modeled in therapy and the amount of confidence you'd get as a child, you know, and so the pressure of, am I, am I reflecting my making my parents look good? There is a lot of that, that that burden that kids carry. You're trying to figure yourself out yet. I've got to like really worry about you.

Jamie Edelbrock (20:2.402)

.

Jamie Edelbrock (20:6.189)

Yep.

Jamie Edelbrock (20:18.173)

Exactly.

It's a lot of pressure. It's a lot of pressure for kids.

Kyle And Sara Wester (20:28.450)

Well, especially like you said, working with kids. I mean, we always try to alleviate that pressure for our kids. I'm sure you do as well. It's like, Hey, you don't need to try to make us look at it. It's not your job, you know, but it's inevitable. They're going to feel that pressure. going to feel something. Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (20:28.458)

Yeah!

Jamie Edelbrock (20:40.318)

Exactly. It's easy to say that, but then at the bottom, like at the end of the day, like, hey, we're taking a family picture. Make sure you wear this or, you know, grandma and grandpa are coming over. Make sure you say this. And it's like, why? So we've come and through our journey, you know, they'll say, do I have to change this for grandma and grandpa or the neighbors or whatever? And I'll say, no, if you're proud of who you are, and then you can.

Kyle And Sara Wester (20:47.756)

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (21:4.066)

Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (21:8.479)

do that, you can say that, or with our Christmas cards, it's kind of become comical and like wear whatever you want. Where before it was like, you need to look this way, this is our family, this is our image. And I think that's a big part of it too. Seeking help and saying, you know, I need help. Or if your kids are acting up, it ruins your image. And I think that we are such a society now, especially with social media where everything is image, everything is image.

Kyle And Sara Wester (21:15.205)

Yes, yes, yes.

Kyle And Sara Wester (21:36.972)

Very much. Yep. Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (21:38.539)

So, that's talk about pressure with the kids.

Kyle And Sara Wester (21:41.186)

Well with that then I'd love for you to summarize your other two books. I know this time we spent time about Tangled Up. Can you kind of give the audience a summary of the other two books and what inspired you to write those? Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (21:50.271)

Yeah. Yeah, so, Be the Sparkle, then, would be my next book. And that kind of talks about how the world is scary right now. It's not a fun place to be all the time. And I imagined, and I did, I saw my kids kind of soaking in just the scariness of right about when 2020 was happening, and there was just a bunch of things happening. And I wanted to acknowledge, instead of hide the fact

Kyle And Sara Wester (21:59.712)

Mm-hmm.

Kyle And Sara Wester (22:11.512)

Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (22:19.947)

that there were scary things going on. wanted to say, hey, yeah, I see it too. Any kid or teen who has access to television or social media or has ears or eyes can see that things are hard. And so I think it's really important for a parent to sit down with a kid and acknowledge that and just like tangled up to say, one, you're not alone, I'm here. But two, how can we navigate this together? And be the sparkle it is by simply loving the person in front of you and just being

Kyle And Sara Wester (22:28.140)

Yes. Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (22:49.566)

whether that's someone in your house or that's a neighbor that you see. We have in our household, we've gotten the habit of helping homeless people. We have a bag in our car full of snacks. And so if we see someone, we'll hand them a snack. It's just ready to go. Or we'll do cards for hospitalized kids. Like our table's always a mess because we're doing cards for kids. Little things like that. But then also like, hey, hold the door open for a stranger.

Kyle And Sara Wester (23:18.946)

Yes, no.

Jamie Edelbrock (23:19.013)

or just simple little things can make the biggest difference in the world, especially when the world feels scary. So it's about being, the world's dark and we're a light. Yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (23:28.876)

Yeah, it's a very hopeful book. remember in a lot of you have a whole workbook that goes with it, that shows kids how to do that. So it's really great to kind of help or help your kids start seeing the little ways that lots of them, they do it already in many different ways, but they don't understand the impact. And typically what's happening is they're mostly they're hearing about the impact about the mistakes they make and the ways in which, and so it's neat for them to go, yeah, you know how, when you do that with your friend, like that really helps it. Like I remember even just telling my son when he leaves soccer practice.

Jamie Edelbrock (23:36.297)

Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (23:41.466)

Right.

Kyle And Sara Wester (23:58.764)

I'd say, just say goodbye to the kids. say, hey, goodbye, good to see you. And I told him like, when you do that, watch how they smile, watch how they like, don't you like it? And so it was really cool. He kind of made that a thing where Brennan would walk around and constantly be like, goodbye and say their name and like, and it was in the kids be smiling and it was fun that he came in the car full of gratitude that he got to spend time with these kids. Yeah. And so even that way or little ways kids can be the sparkle. Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (24:1.032)

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (24:15.019)

this will light up. Yes.

Jamie Edelbrock (24:21.064)

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. something a little like too, like you said, just saying hi or using their name. We, you know, there's that saying, if you see something, say something. And usually that's for something, you're alerting something that there's something wrong. In our house, if you see something, say something. If you see something beautiful in someone or that you like about someone, say it, say something. Because...

Kyle And Sara Wester (24:41.943)

Oh, I it. Love it, yes.

Jamie Edelbrock (24:46.578)

I mean, how nice is it when we hear like, oh my gosh, your hair looks great, or I love your shirt, it's good to see, whatever it is, that makes your whole day better.

Kyle And Sara Wester (24:51.512)

Yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (24:55.372)

Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Yes. Yeah. And I like that you made workbooks. So I love the books because my kids, you know, you just connect so well with seeing it in a story, you know, and then to have the workbook to go with it where you can kind of put it down there and makes it come to life for you and you're working through the materials. So I just want to highlight that you have those and they're really neat. Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (25:5.162)

Mm-hmm.

Jamie Edelbrock (25:10.088)

Yeah. Yes.

Jamie Edelbrock (25:17.586)

Yeah, and those are free for anybody who wants them. They can get them on my website. Those are free for everybody. Third book is Adventures of Little Selfie. And that's right now is just an ebook. But it really talks about embracing who you are. And the character in the book is all of my daughters, all of my children put together. And she goes on a journey to find out who she is. And it's really about what's in your heart.

Kyle And Sara Wester (25:20.640)

Awesome. Oh, that's great. Yes. Okay. It was always the third book about

Yep. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Kyle And Sara Wester (25:36.919)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (25:46.279)

and your courage and your confidence and how you see yourself because she starts out not liking who she is and trying to hide who she is. And by the end, she ends up embracing who she is by the animals she meets on the journey. And on every single page, there's a question. So you can ask your kid and to make sure they really connect with that. All of my books are meant for a caregiver or a parent to sit with a child.

Kyle And Sara Wester (26:0.291)

Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (26:14.984)

and really start a discussion. One on therapy, one on what's going on in the world, how you can shine, and how you can be your best self and loving yourself.

Kyle And Sara Wester (26:24.302)

Yeah, no, it'd great. Yeah. If I was seeing like a littler kid, kind of more elementary age and stuff like that, I think sitting with them and reading any of these books would be super easy and helpful, even on the therapy setting, it'd be great as a parent to sit down with your kid. just going to start some conversations, kind of spark their imagination of a different way of looking at that subject, you know, like a different way of making an impact or a different way of asking for help. And all those kinds of things are great.

Jamie Edelbrock (26:28.959)

Mm-hmm.

Jamie Edelbrock (26:39.369)

Yes.

Jamie Edelbrock (26:43.364)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (26:49.447)

Yeah, I also have another book. have it right here. This one, my daughter and I made it. This is a journal. It's called You and Me and it's a back and forth journal. And when my husband was deployed, we would take a journal and she would write in it and leave it on my nightstand. And then I would write in it and put it back on her nightstand. And it was so easy to write what we're feeling versus saying it face to face. And so last year we were like, hey, let's make a journal.

Kyle And Sara Wester (26:53.142)

Oh great.

Oh, cool.

Kyle And Sara Wester (27:8.563)

Yeah,

Kyle And Sara Wester (27:15.267)

Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (27:19.346)

And so we did. So there's a page for butterflies and there's a page for bees. So it can be really like, you know, like someone can be the butterfly, someone can be the bee. And today this is what I'm feeling. And it's just a simple, a simple journey. Yeah. This is what's on their minds. And it's just another way to communicate with your kids. And this is a no rules. You can say whatever you want. If they feel like cussing or talking about their sibling or whatever, they can do it in here and they're not going to get in trouble. Yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (27:19.638)

I don't know, too.

Kyle And Sara Wester (27:26.818)

Yes, yes

Kyle And Sara Wester (27:34.979)

Yeah.

Kyle And Sara Wester (27:41.718)

Yeah. Yes. Yes. It doesn't be filtered. Yes. Yes. Yes. What tells how can they, how can our listeners find all these resources, Jamie? How can they connect with you?

Jamie Edelbrock (27:49.373)

Yes.

Jamie Edelbrock (27:55.268)

Yeah, you can find me on jamie edelbrock.com or all of these are on Amazon, tangled up in Be The Sparkle. You can find anywhere books are sold. Yeah. You're welcome.

Kyle And Sara Wester (28:3.042)

Okay. Well, that's awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story. And I hope listeners definitely go check out these resources because they're going to be great ways to spark conversations with you and your kids. And it's just really easy. They're not long, but they're in depth. So meaning that they have a lot of depth to them.

Jamie Edelbrock (28:14.972)

Yep.

Kyle And Sara Wester (28:22.254)

but there's something that a kid would love to sit through. I know that if you get it with your kid, they would love to have a smile on their face. Can we read that book again? And so that could be fun to sit down. You could do it as a whole family even to start a conversation about, we're gonna go get help for this or hey, we thought, you this has been an issue. wanna help, you know, maybe go get some coaching or go get some therapy for this. So would encourage parents to definitely let's move that shame away like Jamie was saying, and let's embrace the vulnerability.

Jamie Edelbrock (28:25.000)

Yeah.

Jamie Edelbrock (28:28.973)

No!

Kyle And Sara Wester (28:48.258)

because through that vulnerability is really where joy and connection in your family really happen. And so that's what I think these books will help spark in your family. So thank you for taking the time, Tammy. I appreciate it.

Jamie Edelbrock (28:54.130)

Yep. You're welcome. You're welcome.