Episode 197

Kyle Wester (28:35.884)
I'm just going to take a moment and drop a truth bomb on all the parents listening today. ⁓ We cannot read the minds of our kids. ⁓ And yet how many times do we approach them as if we can? How many times do we begin conversation? I know why you did that or you definitely did it for this. And if we continue to do that and approach it that way, you're going to have a kid who no longer wants to share their point of view with you.
And so if you can relate to that at all, I know I can. I know I like to think I can mind read and I know I can definitely feel like I know exactly why my kids did stuff. And we're going to dive in today to tell you why that's so common and why most parents do it. And it's a very human thing to do, but also how powerful can be to change those dynamics and why your kid is begging you to change it ⁓ because it is going to be a hindrance to you creating.
and the relationship you want to have with your kid. And we're going to give you some clear steps that you can do today. We're going to challenge you at the end, give you a very clear, specific challenge that you can start implementing this week that's going to help you transform this pattern and this dance in your family. So before you jump into it and get ready to dive into this knowledge, please take a moment to pause and ⁓ rate and review this podcast. We'd love to hear your feedback on how these episodes are helping you. It's always so encouraging.
for us to hear how we're helping families. Cause that's what drives Sarah and I to do this work is we love to help empower parents to be the parents they want to be and create the relationships that will last a lifetime with your kids. So ⁓ take a moment and do that and then sit back and enjoy this episode.

Kyle Wester (0:1.038)
Hello and welcome to the Art of Raising Humans. I'm Kyle. Hi, I'm Sarah. And Sarah, I want to ask you a question. Can you read our kids' brains? No. ⁓ You can't? my gosh. So many times I feel like I can. know, so many times I think I know exactly why they did what they did. And many times, Sarah, when I'm coaching parents, they're pretty much convinced that they can read their kids' brains. Well, we've been around them their whole lives and we know them very well. So of course. Yeah. So we've known them since they...
first took a breath, right? So we know almost better than they do why they do what they do, right? Yeah. And that's actually why I brought this topic up when you and I are brainstorming, man, what do we want to talk about 2026? This is one I thought we just need to do a whole podcast. It's like, I think a lot of parents and maybe the listeners right now, we were with you, we tend to in these moments of conflict, believe we can read our kids brains. Yeah. And I think there's just like a little hint of truth in that.
Right? Because we do actually know them very well. ⁓ Sometimes we do have really great insight into why they're doing what they're doing. Right? So there's this piece because that can be true. Well, then it, but it just falls into, then I can read their brain. know what they're doing. I mean, even though we wouldn't say, that's not, I don't think that. ⁓ But we kinda, you know, because there's a little truth to it, then I think we go too far with it. was one couple I was coaching. I just remember when they were ⁓ kind of talking about why their kid did something.
And then I asked him, you know, how they know that for sure. Well, we've known him his whole life, right? And I said, well, I've known Sarah for over 23 years. I still, I still don't know why Sarah does what she does. I if that's the, we're going to use, then yeah, think about that one guys. Cause I know he can't remember. That's right. Well, and I think if I, if I came towards you as if I did, I think that would upset you. think it would frustrate you. No one likes that. No one likes when people assume they know
what you're thinking. We want people to be curious, right? So even though sometimes you might know what I'm thinking or there's a sometimes you know me very well and you can have some good insight, it still doesn't turn into- lacking a lot of information. always right. You actually can read my mind. You do know what I, you just sometimes do and we have to keep that in mind. Yeah. So think about like these moments that happen, right? Maybe your child rolls their eyes at you or your teen shrug and says nothing ⁓ or your child ignores you.

Kyle Wester (2:25.898)
Again, right? And just think about what that triggers in you and immediately like you start to believe, you know, most parents will immediately decide ⁓ why that behavior is happening and they'll jump to these assumptions, assumptions like they're being disrespectful or they just don't care. I've heard that. These are ones I've heard a lot, right? ⁓ They're doing this on purpose, right? And so basically like the core idea here is ⁓ one of the most common parenting mistakes that we make, but also that we see parents make
is acting like we can read our kids mind. And then we start parenting from that assumption as if it is true. Yeah. Then we really get in trouble because we're like, I've read their mind. I know what they're doing. And I were there before we know it, right? With a lot of parenting stuff. are, we're already correcting them and engaging in whatever the situation is from that assumption. Yeah. So, so we want to, first of all, just say this is super common and you'll notice everybody does this under stress.
When we're under stress, we start to jump towards assuming and believing we know why somebody's doing something. Yeah, we're gonna get into why. Yeah, so first of all, let's talk So good. Well, you wanna get into why, but let's start with what. No, no, I'm saying down the road. it, it, got it. And it's really exciting. So let's talk about first what do we mean by mind reading, okay? That mind reading is basically assuring we know our child's motives or their intentions without actually checking. Without even many times just asking.
open-ended questions about it, right? We just jump right to it. We start making ⁓ declarative statements that are just like, I know why you did that, right? And so like some quick examples, like you didn't do your homework because you're lazy. ⁓ We've heard that one before. ⁓ You're talking back to be disrespectful, okay? ⁓ You're lying to avoid the consequences, ⁓ right? All those are things that I'm sure many people have heard said or said themselves, okay? ⁓ So it's important though to take a moment and pause here and think about this.
We don't talk to our child as they are. We talk to the story we've made up about them. Yeah. I love this. And there's so many little good one-liners that we have in our notes, guys. So listen closely. No, but I love that. So we make this assumption, and we're moving from that place. that's so everything in me goes, oh, yeah, I do that. So I'm operating from something I don't know for a fact to be true. I think it's true.

Kyle Wester (4:48.526)
and is based on maybe some pretty good evidence. But I don't actually know. Well, many times, Sarah, this is why kids end up opening up to somebody like me as a counselor, or to a teacher or a mentor or friends, because they don't believe that story. I remember even feeling that going into college. I thought there was things about me that just were true. And then I met people who didn't supposedly have all this background that my parents had.
and they believed other things like they assigned different motivations to my behavior. And I was like, well, maybe it is that maybe I am doing that because they were also open. Yeah. You know, did you ever feel that where it's like, they're open because they actually don't have the assumption. Yeah. So then they were just curious and open to what you were saying or what you were doing. It felt so good. Didn't it? Yeah. It so good for them to go, I thought you did it because of this. Like, my gosh, I never
No one ever thought that. did you do that? I asked that. Yeah. But what the point is though, when we do that, Sarah, we, parents, we get pretty confident in these stories and almost think in our minds that these are true. And there's no way like almost like we know more about the kid than the kid knows about themselves. Right. And probably every listener right now goes, yeah, but for this, I know it's true. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and then it's hard not to. And that confidence, like you're saying, it's not the same as being accurate. You know, you, you've got to be humble.
and realize you don't know all the truth. That there are things in your kid's head that you do not know. That they are a complicated human and there's thoughts they have or perceptions they've gotten that you're not aware of. ⁓ So confidence is not accuracy. Yes, it is not. ⁓ Okay, so now why do we do this as parents? Let's kind of talk about the brain and the nervous system. ⁓ First of all, the brain hates uncertainty. ⁓ Uncertainty is scary. It causes us anxiety. ⁓
I want to jump in. remember, I don't remember the details. So ⁓ hopefully this will be good enough. I remember my son loves science books ⁓ and there's these pictures ⁓ and you look at the picture and it asks you questions and you're and you don't even realize it, but the end of the point of the whole exercise is to figure out that it's actually not all there and your brain filled in the blanks. But when you look at it, you're, absolutely certain it's all there, ⁓ but your brain actually filled in. And we watch this thing on the brain and

Kyle Wester (7:4.686)
I mean, there's so many different pieces about this where, this is solid science, not from a psychological set, but just like your brain fills it in. No, but you see that all time on social media too, like where people have written paragraphs in your brain, went ahead and put in words that weren't there or yes, or fixed words that are messed up. that that's what our, so we've got to be a little bit suspicious or at least curious about what my brain is assuming is happening, right? That my brain wants to have certainty.
to know you did this for this because that somehow makes me feel safer, right? And your brain will fill in gaps, especially under stress. Yeah. And so, and you're going to feel that sense of certainty because that's what your brain is looking for. So you're like, awesome. Got it. I'm absolutely sure. And you'll have all the points to back up why you're so sure. ⁓ now we know we got to look at it go, Ooh, I'm so sure. But my brain fills things in. So I can't.
You can't trust me. And Sarah, I remember this when we first got married. I didn't, you know, I thought I knew you, but obviously I'd only known you for two years and all of sudden we're married now. And there's all these things that, especially under stress, when we would get into arguments, stress wants speed, not accuracy. You know, I want to quickly be able to tell you what you're thinking. And if I actually stopped and would ask you,
⁓ I was like, I actually, there's so much I don't know about you. mean, obviously there was so much history I didn't know about you, your upbringing. And then you would tell me what you were thinking and lo and behold, it wasn't the same as I would have thought, you know, because we're different people. Right. Different backgrounds, all kinds of details that are different. So your brain is going to fill in with what it has available. It doesn't mean it's right. It's just doing its best. So whenever you start to get dysregulated, ⁓ our neutral behavior starts to feel threatened.
⁓ We assume negative intent ⁓ and we react instead of ask questions. We're not curious, you know, so whenever you're just regular you'll notice that starts to happen. You'll feel whatever your kid is doing ⁓ is a threat and then what you're gonna need you're just immediately gonna assume something bad. They're lazy. They're disrespectful. They're rude. They don't care all these kind of things. They're never motivated or they won't do anything or won't take responsibility. All these kind of thoughts will pop up in your head and we start to just react to it.

Kyle Wester (9:23.406)
in an effort to change it, okay? And so I love this line, a dysregulated parent's brain almost always assigns a negative story. So take a moment and think about that. Yeah, kind of how our brains function. We think it's gonna be something bad. We think that noise is a bear in the woods coming to eat us. Yes, yeah. I don't know if you ever woken up at night to a crash, your brain immediately thinks someone's broken, everything, you your brain goes to trying to survive. So even in an argument, even when your child has done something,
it moves into that negative space. Yeah. And what I've seen happen, Sarah, is this kind of mind reading a hundred percent begins to damage the connection they have with their kids. Yeah. If someone read your mind, you wouldn't like it. Because what kids tell me is they feel completely misunderstood. Yeah. You know, and then when they feel misunderstood, they don't feel safe with you to be vulnerable and to be open and honest. And then they'll be less cooperative because they really don't feel like you're curious about them. They feel like you're just there to tell them.
what they're doing and why they're doing it. And it starts to create the kids, the kid to be defensive, you know? And the kid will start to shut down. ⁓ They stop explaining and they just start, ⁓ they start kind of like counteract whatever that story is, you know? Through that defensiveness. And they stop wanting to connect with us. ⁓ Because who would want to connect with that person who's always assuming the negative intent?
in reading their brain and yeah, wouldn't work in other relationships, which I know we say that a lot and it's, just true. I love that because it helps me sort of reframe it. That doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good when someone comes in and says, I know why if a boss, whoever you came to me and said, you did this because of this, this is what you're doing. You know, and they tried to read it all to me. Everything in me would immediately feel defensive, would immediately feel like, well, that's not true. And that's wrong. And you don't understand this. And so why would I,
want to come to talk I'm sure. Yeah, because if you already know my intent, then why would I tell you the truth? I mean, it seems like you're not even open to a different way of looking at it. if there is a piece where it's true, I really messed up, now I feel really, really unsafe to come and talk to you. Exactly. Why would I be vulnerable to you? Just going to read it all, think what you want to think, so everything in me kind of goes, forget it. Sarah, I've had teenagers say that. They, for the most part, had been making change and positive change, and then they did mess up.

Kyle Wester (11:43.264)
And now they don't, the very thing the parents saying, I want them to be open to tell me, I want them to tell me. But now the kids like, this will confirm everything they've been believing about. They'll can, it will confirm that I'm a bad kid to them. It will confirm all these stories. So I can't do that. And that's, that's kind of what it ends up leading to is when we assume the worst, start to train our kids or anybody ⁓ to hide and not to grow and change, right? That they just want to go into hiding mode and kind of keep away from you because they don't want to back up the story you've been saying about them. Yeah.
or hear, yeah, yeah, ⁓ I wanna hide. I'm just hearing this, think, well, yes, I wanna hide. Forget it, why would I engage this? Yes, so kids and teens often don't feel understood, fully understood ⁓ when it comes to their motivations. ⁓ And ⁓ what ends up happening is it causes a real problem in the behavior, okay, and the communication of it. So it leads to confusion between you and your kid.
It leads to gaps in skills that they need to learn from you. ⁓ It starts to make the ⁓ emotion much bigger than it needs to be. So a lot of emotional dysregulation and overload. And they have the strong fear of disappointing us. And basically the fear that they will become the thing you keep saying they are. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ I think that's just humans. And ⁓ who are you going to come to? The person you feel safe with. Yeah.
And over and over again, I tell myself this all the time. I need to be the safe parent they can come to. And I need to do the work to be that safe parent they feel like they can come to. Yeah, so it's important to kind of maybe stop, sit back, and just take a moment to kind of think about this truth. That if your kid had the skills to do better, they would. If they had the skills to do better, they would. This is so helpful to me, Sarah. When I sit back and think about why are they doing this? What did they do? The assumption will be,
They could do better and they're choosing not to. And the truth is ⁓ that if they could do better, they would. Nobody wakes up and wants to fail. ⁓ No kid wants to wake up and hurt their relationship with you. That's not their goal. That's never their intent. So if your brain is going there, we're missing some information. ⁓ And so that's where we want to build this curiosity because curiosity will start to build trust.

Kyle Wester (13:58.754)
You know, when you're curious about why I'm doing something, it starts to build trust that you actually want to know me. And then that trust, here's kind of the cool steps, is that trust will increase honesty and openness. And that honesty will help support long-term change in the behavior. ⁓ So you gotta first come with that curiosity to build the trust. The trust will help the person be more honest with you, and that honesty will help them get to a brain, the part of the brain where now they can actually make long-term change. ⁓
very well said. I mean, it's not easy. It's a lot of work. And sometimes you you really have to take the part of your brain that is so certain. Yes. And you have to shove it aside. No, I'm going to go in with curiosity and you feel this total shift inside of you. When you're when you think okay, I'm gonna all my my thoughts about this aside. And I really want to hear what they have to say. And and
If you've been on the other side of that, someone coming to you that way to feel seen and to feel heard like that, it's very moving. I think what you said there too, is just to remember if I'm having that certainty, if I'm having these thoughts, right? It's because I'm seeking that certainty because it gives me some sense of control. And so if my brain is completely closed off to any other alternative reasons that might've been going on here, then I'm not going to be able to build trust. I'm not going to have connection. There's not going to be honesty.
You know, and I mean, you can see it when a parent's talking to a kid, you can see that kid go, Oh, you're not open. You don't want to hear any other ideas. So the only option is believing what you said is the total truth. And there's no other possible things there. Right. So, so basically let's kind of talk about that, about the role of curiosity in this to, really help us that curiosity, first of all, is not permissiveness. Okay. It's not just saying, yeah, whatever the kid does is okay, but it's, it's about understanding before there's any correction.
Yeah. And, and cause I was thinking the whole time there's going to be that part of your brain that goes the whole time your child's telling you there's going to be the part of your brain that goes, ⁓ right. ⁓ You know, and you have, and just, have to realize that's going to happen ⁓ and, and, and try to remain in the curious part because the other side of you also goes, yeah, but they're just going to think anything they do is fine. And, and, ⁓ and when are we going to get back to circling around to correcting what they did wrong? Because.

Kyle Wester (16:23.786)
I told them and they didn't do this or whatever the story is. And so I think it is very important because sometimes well-meaning parents either you switch back because you think, well, I can't let them get away with it ⁓ or you lean into it so far, you become permissive and that's not your intention. ⁓ But then you think, I don't want to do this. And then you fall into the permissive side and we've got to be able to hold both. ⁓ this next stage is very important. Yeah. So some just curious questions that you could ask is,
you help me understand what's going on, you know, or what was so hard or so difficult about that. What were you hoping would happen? You know, think those are, love that last one. I know that's one of my favorites. would happen? Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then why this works, cause it lowers the defensiveness between you and your kid. ⁓ it engages reflection, which is what we want to raise kids who aren't afraid of reflecting you. ⁓ All of that is growing their prefrontal cortex and helping them have the courage to look at what, what they did, what they were trying to achieve. And
And to be able to reflect it, you know, do I like what I did? Do I like the outcome there? And to be able to actually have that conversation. And then it also keeps the connection intact. Yeah. I was going say this could be a little hard if you haven't done this with your kid before. I just want to put a little statement in here. If your kid isn't used to that reflection, you might get a, don't know, you know, because they don't sometimes they don't. And so sometimes you might even throw out some guesses. Oh, I wonder if you thought.
that by doing that this would happen. You know, and you could be told you, you need to, they'll sense it if you're not really coming from a curious place. So go do your work and make sure you don't address this or engage until you're truly curious. what you're saying, we can't fake it. Yes. Don't try to fake it. So we gave you some questions, but the questions might not work if you're faking it. Yeah. you need to allow them time and, be light about it. You know, don't just come all serious. What did you think was going to happen? You you need to be like, Oh,
What did you think? What were you hoping for? Yeah, so within that, though, that brings up another fear that parents have, Sarah, is if I start to just assume the best or think the best, ⁓ that the kid's just gonna take advantage of me. I'm gonna look like a fool, right? Because I'll think my kid can never do anything wrong. I'm always thinking that everything they're doing is good. And we've seen some ⁓ silly stuff like that in media, or we're like a kid's on American Idol and they can't sing at all.

Kyle Wester (18:45.294)
The parents are like, you're a great singer son, you're gonna be a star, right? And they're that's not what we're talking Yes, don't worry, we're gonna bring this all back around. yes. So assuming the best doesn't remove boundaries, it just changes how you hold those boundaries, you know? Yes. And it changes how you approach the kid, right? It changes how they're going to perceive you as you approach them. You they'll feel it that you assume good things about them. Right, so it's really, really important.
Okay, so we're still holding the boundary. But this coming with curiosity completely feels different. It feels different inside of you. It feels different for the child. ⁓ When someone has come to you, if a boss has come to you to give you some feedback and change how you're doing something, if they come and ask you, why did you do it? Why did you do the presentation? What are truly asking you? And then they come in with how they want it to change. That feels very, different. Yes.
but it's not that they don't tell you how they want it to change or what needs to happen. Yeah. you can actually believe your child isn't a malicious little ⁓ terrorist ⁓ and still hold limits with them. Accountability actually, like you said in the workplace, it always works best when dignity stays intact, right? When you actually honor that person, that that actually is going to help the accountability to be there, right? ⁓ And ⁓ this may hit you hard, but it's a truth. Kids grow into the version of themselves.
they feel believed in, right? So like, if you believe them to be, and I know we've heard, you know, parents at times joke about this, a little terrorist, don't be surprised when they turn into a kid that's completely out of control, because they're going to think that's what you think they are. Dramatic, selfish, lazy, ⁓ really take those things out of your vocab, because it's not going to help, because your kid's brain goes, OK, that's what I am. OK, that's what I need to do. ⁓ And yeah. ⁓
Okay, so here's what to do instead. So how to change those dynamics is first of all, pause that story that you have in your head and ask yourself, ⁓ what am I assuming in this moment? And do I actually know this? ⁓ So maybe I love to use this open hand metaphor. If you're on YouTube right now, you can see me doing it. I want to come with open hands rather than a closed fist. So a closed fist is basically like, ⁓ I know why you did this. I know like, instead, if I open my hand and I'm just curious as to what I'm assuming, ⁓ do I actually know?

Kyle Wester (21:6.894)
Okay, step two would be to regulate your body first, you know Take some take some deep breaths slow your breathing down lower your voice and unclench your your muscles You know, isn't a fight-or-flight where I'm I need to fight you type situation Okay, and then step three ask before assigning meaning, you know, like ⁓ what was going on for you? You know, what made that kind of tricky or difficult for you? And is there something I'm missing? Right
You know, to me, I'd love that one. Is there something I'm missing? And I want to say, even if the kid has done something, I would say feels black and white, like just punch their brother. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. There's still a reason you want to get to. I'm telling you, even if it's the child didn't know another way to get that toy. Yeah. You know, I wanted the toy. ⁓ If we approach that as you bad kid who punched your brother because you selfishly wanted a toy, it's just see it, reframe that as,
He wanted a toy to play with because that toy is exciting He didn't know how to get that toy because his brother wouldn't just give it to him Yeah, and and it feels different to the child to engage it that way and to then move in I know we're gonna get to the next part But I'm just saying like even something that seems so black and white. Yeah Just look at it from a different angle and it shifts it well and that that then good and step forward to start reflect before correcting so it sounds like you
blank, right? Or I hear that you're saying this, you know? And when we started doing this on a regular basis, here's what I want listeners to hear. When you do that, like the whole point of this journey of raising these kids ⁓ is for you to be able to understand them, which is great, but also to help them understand themselves, you know? And lots of times our reactions to these moments ⁓ don't free them to really want to do that. They don't want to reflect on what they actually did, the behavior they did to
to actually get the toy or whatever. They don't wanna do that because they're so afraid to do that because once again, it's gonna confirm the bad things that maybe you've said about them or the way, the bad thing that they hope is not true about them, right? And so ⁓ I want ⁓ that step four when you're reflecting before you correct, it's gonna help you grow deeper into a relationship with your kid and for them to better understand their own motivations, right? ⁓ And then step five would be then you're gonna teach or set the limit.

Kyle Wester (23:27.566)
You know, so there you're gonna be clear, you're gonna be calm, you're gonna be connected, and then you're gonna set the limits. So if you wanted that toy instead of doing that, you you can do this, right? And that's when they're actually gonna be open to your guidance and your teaching. Right. And because I'm telling you, if a kid isn't doing homework, there's a reason for it. It's not just lazy. If your kid is breaking curfew, if you're, no matter what it is, there's something deeper going on.
And so I believe, you know, parents are great people to move into those spaces with their child ⁓ and who better to walk that difficult thing with their child ⁓ is from something small. If I really wanted a toy, I didn't know how to get to something bigger and deeper. You know, they're playing too much video games or screens and stuff that's still what's going on in the brain. need dopamine. Why, you know, there's always something there and, and we can approach it with them instead of, know, and they will thank you for that.
Yeah, so I know Sarah some parents are listening to this some common pushbacks that parents might say is they'll say but I know my kid. ⁓ I know my kid. I mean, hey, something in me. I know, of course. I know my kid. They do this every time. Okay, I know you're saying but they do this every time, right? Or I don't have time for these long talks. ⁓ That's another one, right? Sometimes we don't. of course. Yes. But I also want to come back with some other truths. Yeah, you once again.
You can't read your kid's and you don't know the whole story. Yeah. Okay. So those are, I want, if you're wrestling with those pushback statements and you're like, yeah, I do. But can't you also agree that, that that's true. You don't know the whole story and you can't read their minds. If anything, I lean back on this isn't going to help. Yeah, that's true. So I might as well just, it's not going to help. It's not going to help my relationship. It's not going to help this moment. It's not going to help the growth I want to see in my child. So if anything,
It's just not gonna help. ⁓ So yeah, so so you know, want you to understand patterns do matter. We think that doesn't matter, right? That does tell you something about your kid, right? But curiosity always needs to start first. ⁓ Be curious. It's not that you throw out the patterns. We get that. That's still it's still a piece of the puzzle. But I want to be curious to be able to add another piece to that puzzle. Why? So I get the better picture, right? Really, you you're just messing with a few puzzle pieces. You're not going to see the whole picture without them.

Kyle Wester (25:50.252)
And then even just 30 seconds of, I'm just telling you 30 seconds of curiosity can change your tone and the tone of the conversation. Okay. ⁓ So the main takeaway that we'd hope that you would get from this conversation is ⁓ you don't need to read your child's mind. You need to make space for their voice. ⁓ let me say that again. You don't need to read your child's mind. You need to make space for their voice and they need to know that their voice matters in the relationship with you because otherwise you'll lose it.
Yeah, that's really really really powerful. Yeah to know that you're seen and heard and your voice matters ⁓ And we can give that to our kids. Yeah, and so you're gonna get this wrong. Sometimes we do as well Okay, there's all types of times sarah and I on a daily basis assume are the motivations of our kids or the intense, right? And so this is gonna be ongoing practice for every one of us including ourselves ⁓ But always keep in mind that repair matters more than perfection so when you do mess up and you do act like you can read their mind and this causes
disconnection, you can always go back and repair. So the reflection we kind of challenge you with this week is what changes this week if I choose curiosity over certainty? So kind of make that your goal this week. What if I change this week to be curious instead of certain? Okay. And so we want you to continue listening to the podcast and we continue throughout 2026 to give you little nuggets like this.
that are gonna help challenge you to become that parent that you wanna be, but also to create the long lasting connection or relationship you wanna have ⁓ with your child. So we thank you so much for listening to today's podcast. And if you ever feel like you need help ⁓ in learning more of this and being the parent you wanna be, definitely reach out to me at kyle at artofraisinghumans.com. And I'd love to talk with you about how we help parents all over the world to create these kinds of lifelong relationships with their children.
Sometimes it's just really helpful to have that outside perspective, somebody who's not in the moment. And I know we've used that so much in our own lives. Like, need to get to talk to someone outside of this. And they have that insider can help you shift it. If you're just really locked into this is what's happening. It's really hard to get your brain from that stuck spot. And someone on the outside can sometimes help you do that. And we've done that. And so I just want to want to offer that. Yeah. Yeah. And we thank you so much for taking the time to listen to us. Have a wonderful day.