Episode 227

Our kids are growing up in a world with so much information and so many choices they have to make. And it is causing so much anxiety in parents and kids. And I know we often hear that children need choices. So we say things like, hey, do you want the red shirt or the blue shirt or the green shirt? Do you want spaghetti or pizza? And all that's great. All those choices are fine. But if we want to really prepare our children for life and adulthood and to be successful, eventually the choices need to begin to.

Grow with them. One day they will have to decide how to use their time, whether to speak up, how to handle a hard class, what commitments to make, and what to do when a decision does not work out. They need practice before the stakes get really, really high. Small choices help children feel seen, but we want to expand that conversation beyond snacks and shirts. The question is: where can my child have an appropriate

meaningful say in their own life. And we're going to talk about today. We're going to hit upon every age group and how you can start helping your kids grow that choice muckles muscle to get really good at that skill. So by the time they go into adulthood, they're not racked with anxiety and fear that they are not confident enough to make choices and don't feel competent enough to make the choices that they need to make to create the life that they want and that you want for them. If you haven't already take a moment to please pause.

And rate review you know the our the the podcast. We love the five star reviews, love hearing the comments back from you about how this podcast is helping you and your family. And get ready to jump into learning about the power of choices and how you can help your kids get better at those.

Kyle and Sara Wester (00:00.994)
Hello and welcome to the Art of Raising Humans. I'm Kyle. Hey everybody. I am Sarah, and I'm looking at your little beat up eye. Yeah, I do. If you haven't seen us on YouTube yet, you should go check out Art of Raising Humans on YouTube. You can see where I I look kind of jacked up. And that's because I have a very physical 10-year-old daughter who we were playing a game of monkey in the middle at the swimming pool, and she really wanted to get the ball.

From me. So she jumped over my shoulders and her foot kicked me in the face. So now I have kind of a black eye, got kind of a shiner. makes it look like I got into a bar fight or something. Yeah. Okay. Good times. Yes, but hey, this week is a special week as well. This is gonna drop. We took like a week off, you know, at the end of August. summer was was long, August was long. We had a lot on our plate, right? Getting ready for school and everything. So we did take off that last Monday. So we didn't drop an episode last week.

Coming in strong this week's excited about this new school year and excited about a lot of different topics we're gonna cover. But by the time this drops, we will have celebrated something, and that is our twenty-fourth wedding anniversary. Yeah. So congratulations. No, it I I just wanted to say that, Sarah, because it is a blast being married to you. So I'm so glad that I get to do this life with you, get to do parenting with you. Twenty four years has been awesome and look forward to twenty four more, you know.

Hopefully we'll continue to be really healthy and strong, and those will be just as fabulous. So but we we wanted to hit a topic today that's going right into the school year. It's something, Sarah, that I've been seeing a lot whenever I'm working with kids, and it is the power of choices. Okay. I think so often choices in our, you know, actually, I'm thinking of a story back when you and I went to Siberia. So I don't know if any of you any listeners have ever been to Siberia. Sarah and I lived there for two months.

We were on a missions trip for our college at the time. And the kids there in Siberia said something very interesting because communism had fallen about five to eight years prior to us coming there. And I thought, man, these people have gotta be excited to no longer be living under a communist government and now they're gonna have freedom and all this kind of stuff. We were American college kids, right? United States college kids and over there and you have

Kyle and Sara Wester (02:17.909)
And you know, it's where you learn, you have these expectations and thoughts and beliefs, and you just think everyone feels that way. And then we talk to them. And and that was definitely one of the things that stood out to me most. I I'd I'd say the majority of them were excited about that and all that freedom gave them in regards to making choices about their life. But some of them were not happy about it. Some of them were not excited. And the reason why they weren't was simply because of what we're talking about is what comes with choices. Responsibility. Responsibility.

f what what's gonna happen, the consequences that come from those choices. Yeah. So many of them were telling us that their parents when they were growing up just took a test. That test told them what they were good at, what skills they had, and then the government gave their parents a job to do that. And and and I'm bringing that up because I think I I'm seeing a lot of teenagers, Sarah, that are really worried. There are they are really scared and anxious about the future and about the choices. And I think it's this interesting like congruence that's happening in this time.

Where parents, and this is a good thing, I I think are involved more than ever in their kids' lives, right? They're they're very much on top of what's going on with their kids. I mean, they have so much information from like Yeah. It's a lot of communication. Yeah, from schools. They can look at their kids' grades anytime. They like have all this. I mean, way more than we had when we were kids, right? Our parents my parents didn't know what was going on at all at school unless you got in trouble, you know, and then maybe they got a permission slip home or something. I mean, I I mean a a a slip home that was kind of telling them that something bad happened, right? But

But nowadays kids have their parents are involved more than ever. And then the kids have more options than they've ever had before. You know? Now kids are are not thinking of doing the plan we did, go to high school, go to college. It's like go to high school, maybe go to technical school, maybe have a gap year, blah, blah, blah, all these kind things. And what is the right one? You know, which one should I take? And and there's so many career options. There's more, there's more career options in some ways, I think.

branches of what not doctor, but what kind of doctor and all the specialties. And I mean, in so many fields there's a lot of choices. And even I think twenty, thirty, forty years ago, you weren't as aware. And nowadays there's good it's great that our kids can be more aware, but with that comes this overwhelm of being aware of so many choices and things that even sports, there's more access. There's more things that just

Kyle and Sara Wester (04:36.353)
didn't exist few decades ago. Well, I'm even thinking with our daughter who's 10 plays competitive soccer, like what club to do, which coach to go with, which you know, all these kind of things. Like when I was a kid, Sarah, I just played soccer. I I there was very there was like your main city rec team, and then as you got to a certain age, you tried out for another team. That was basic your choices, right? There were so many times where even my parents didn't know the choices I had to make about school. Like I I never talked to my parents about taking the ACT. I just did it because the teachers said here's what you should take to go to college. It was an easy choice to make, right? So

I look at it now that lots of these kids were having this big, big issue with anxiety among our teenagers and going into those early 20s, a very anxious time. And I believe a lot of it has to do with this. So that's why when you and I were talking about how could we help parents better equip their kids and themselves in the power of making choices. Okay. Yeah. And I think people are kind of familiar with choices. And this is this is a deeper dive into choices. It's a little bigger.

Than the red shirt, green shirt kind of choices that you hear presented. yeah, I gave your kids choice. What do they want to eat for lunch? And this is this is a little deeper than that conversation. Yeah, it's taking it a step further. And when kids are making choices, it helps them feel both more confident and competent. Okay. And what what what I mean by that is they're confident and competent, not only in their ability to make choices, but in their ability to use this power they have, which is to create the life they want.

And so Sarah and I are really big on first us getting equipped with that and then helping model, guide, disciple our kids with that. And it's not a thing where you're making choices on your own, all by yourself in the privacy of your room, or it's not like we're making the choices for you. It's from the time they're born to the time they leave your home, you're making thousands of choices with them. Yeah, and and I I think a lot of times choices, the talk about choices is really.

To avoid conflict, you know, if your kid is strong willed and they're fighting. But really, I I think they're it's great for that, love it for that, but it's also an important skill that we we kind of need to have more intention, or it helps our kids to have more intention and going, I need to build the skill of making decisions. And so the only way to do that is like a muscle. They gotta practice, they gotta mess up, they gotta and so this is this is that it's like, okay, we we need to be looking for places. Yeah.

Kyle and Sara Wester (07:02.347)
Our kids are choices from a very young Sometimes even making opportunities for them to do that, right? so yeah, so of course, parents, guys, we we need to remain responsible when it comes to safety, health, finances, values that we want in our family, the overall direction of our family life. Like those are choices that we are making, right? Initially. Yeah, it's not just like here, make choices. Yeah. So some of the choices like we're we're gonna go to school. Like we're gonna learn, right? Yeah, yeah. We're gonna go see the dentists and have our teeth clean.

Right. we're going to participate in some kind of after school activity or sport or whatever, right? These are some choices. How we treat people, you know, how we talk to one another in our family. We can't just hit people. Yeah. So it's not as if everything is just up for grabs. It's not a free-flow. I mean, really, when when when we're talking about discipling our kids, these are things that we discussed way before our kids were born and and continue to evolve them as our kids were growing up. Okay. Yeah. So parents.

set the boundaries, but we definitely want to have input and influence from our kids. You know, like saying like you need to choose an activity this season. Let's talk about which one you'd like to do. Right. And I'm telling you kids that I talk to, Sarah especially in those elementary age, they like that. They want that direction. You know, it just becomes part of it's not about controlling them, but it is about guiding them. It's putting their attention a certain way. Because otherwise it's it's overwhelming.

If everything is just there, it's overwhelming too. Especially at the younger age. So it's sort of a way of helping them build the skill. You scaffold it by here's here's choices within this. And then as they get older, bigger amount of choices. And as they get older, you know, it's it's a way to help them not be overwhelmed and feel confident and capable of making these decisions. Yes. So when you're helping your kids have these choices, it's not about giving them unlimited options. Yeah. And just do whatever you want, but it is about helping your kids grow and taking responsibility for those choices.

Because that's really what's gonna help them mature into successful independent adults. Okay. And you know, let's talk about the brain a little bit, right? So the brain is constantly developing. We've mentioned this before that our kids' brain is developing well into their 20s, okay? so children develop judgment on how to make choices through supported practice. It doesn't come by parents making every decision for them. Okay. So the more often they can do that, the more practice they're having.

Kyle and Sara Wester (09:18.815)
us supporting them and making those choices, the more they can own it, take responsibility, helps develop their brain. So meaningful choices help kids build some really important executive functioning skills. And this is why we're so passionate, because we want these for our kids. We want them to learn how to plan ahead, how to consider the consequences of their choices, how to organize their time, how to delay gratification and not just have that instant gratification that so much of our culture is about, especially with TikTok and social media and all that stuff. Learn how to problem solve.

Adapt when something doesn't work. Learn from their mistakes. And this is really powerful to me, Sarah, is making decisions based on their values and their goals. Yeah. And this is all something that you have to practice. You have to build over time. Remember, this isn't fully done until you're in your mid-20s. And even then we adults know we have to put effort into this. But so you have to see this is a very long game.

practice that you're doing with your children and you're giving them a little bit more of it, you're helping them walk through each of those steps because they're gonna be you'll one day you'll think, wow, you got it, you're so good. And the next day like, what happened to that? Why did you make that choice? my gosh. You have to see they're gonna, they're gonna do it, not do it, fall off the wagon, you know. And so it it is something that's developed over time. We want to keep that in mind as parents. Well and think of it like like a muscle that you're building. Like you know when your teenager is thinking of all these choices, what am I gonna do with my life?

How am I going to drive my car? Who am I going to date? All these kind things. The teen's brain is still developing, especially in the areas of planning, impulse control, and long-term thinking. And that is why teens need parents nearby as their coaches and their guides. But they don't need parents who will disappear or take over. And I think I think back in the day, that was the problem with back when I was growing up, Sarah, there was a lot of my parents didn't do it on purpose, but

I just came home. I was a latchkey kid. I came home from school. I made a lot of choices hours before they ever showed up, right? And then many times and how things were and many times that they were both working full time jobs and things were just busy constantly and they they just didn't know. They didn't have the information. So I was making a lot of choices without them. but I definitely don't think it's great to have a parent who's constantly involved. Like parents who are, man, the kids like nine, tenth, eleven, twelfth, the parents on top of them all the time about the grades and the

Kyle and Sara Wester (11:35.906)
the schooling and making decisions about college and the the kid is is they're constantly having arguments about this because the parents trying to take over that part of their choices. Yeah, yeah. I I think it's a practice that we intentionally have to do. Ca is this a moment I can step back. Yeah. Even even if it's not perfect. You're not stepping back thinking it's all gonna be perfect because they'll do it perfect. You're you're stepping back intentionally because this is something they can mess up, they can do, you know, yeah, inevitably you're practice. You're trying to send the message to the kid that I'm not here.

To make every choice for you, but I am here to help you learn how to make choices that you can be proud of, that you can stand behind, feel good about, right? And I'm there for you when you mess it up. Yes. I'll help you. And you're gonna mess it up even like you're gonna make mistakes. I'm gonna make mistak I'm gonna make choices that I regret or whatever. But we can come back and learn from those and do better at it. And the kid needs to know that it's safe to do that with you. Yeah. Very important for them to know they can

make mistakes and decision makes well let's talk about with each stage, whatever your kid is in, you know, what whatever kind of age range they're at. We want to hit some kind of just real quick, some age appropriate choices that you're probably already thinking about, or maybe you you haven't, it hasn't crossed your mind yet. So the goal here with kids that are elementary age. So we're talking like, you know, kindergarten up to fifth grade. The goal here is to begin building a sense of agency. Okay, which means like this this ability to create the life you want. Okay. Some responsibility. And then of course to

Help them develop this cause and effect thinking. You know, when I do this, this happens, okay? so meaningful choices could be choosing between a few different extracurricular activities, right? choosing which household responsibility they want to do around the house, right? maybe helping decide the order of after school, you know, activities or responsibilities, such as, do you want to do the snack first, homework? These are simple things. maybe choosing a a book or a project or topic that you wanna start trying to learn or dive into.

Okay. but th those are just a few different ones. Maybe even like do you want to go on a play date with that person? You know? These are just a couple examples. And it's not just presenting the the here, do you want to jump on the trampoline or have a snack? Yeah. It's walking them through, like, hey, you know, when you get home from school, we've got homework. I know you want to blow off some steam and you're hungry, and and you kind of talk through and you're asking them, letting them, what do you want to do when you get home? What would happen if you did in that order? What if we try that for two weeks and it messes up and it's not going well?

Kyle and Sara Wester (13:58.668)
So this a this is not a just this or this. This is a a conversation that happens over sit down with a bowl of ice cream and have the conversation. Cause you want you want to build the skill. It's not when they're little little, you're saying red shirt, blue shirt. But by the time they're in kindergarten, you're wanting to kind of develop that. What do you want? What happens if it goes wrong? You know, so so this is a conversation, not just a a simple way you're saying it sounds very intentional, but sounds very organic.

Right. And typically for us, it was always happening in times with our kids of just being intentional but spending time with them. Right. lots of times it looked like for our oldest Abby, it was like I'm sitting outside. I got kind of in the habit when she was younger. She would wake up early. I would go outside and watch the sunrise. She'd sit on my lap and it'd be like, Hey, what kind of day do you want today? Right. You know, what kind of things are you wanting to do today? And just like simple, it's it doesn't have to be real clunky. It doesn't have to be real awkward. These are like it's really fun and organic.

If you're just sitting there just talking and then it's really neat to see your kids like make the decision. And you can start seeing them like you want to be watching them. Are they anxious about making these choices? And so some kids will be more so than others, right? But you want to see them start growing in that sense of confidence and competence to make the choices. Right. You know, or and and ask for help when they need it too, when they need choices. So then you get into the tween years, and the goal here is to start helping them like build planning skills, self-awareness.

once again, taking responsibility and a growing capability to weigh the trade-offs. Like, like you could do this or that. I mean, this is gonna take away from that. That's gonna add to that. And so some meaningful choices there is like having meaningful input in the classes they take. I mean, I think by the time they're doing sixth grade, I hear all too many parents just doing all that for them, you know? Like sit down and like talk about the classes they want. There's more buy-in. The more they choose it, the more likely they are to succeed at choosing activities based on their interests.

rather than just what their friends are doing, which is kind of more at times what's happening at younger ages. helping build a weekly schedule around school and and rest, activities, family, friends, and and also deciding how to organize homework but also study time. You know? So those just a few examples there. Yeah. Things get a little more complicated and you can have a little bit deeper conversation about I love the trade-off piece of it. Cause it it then it's helping them think

Kyle and Sara Wester (16:20.673)
There's not necessarily a right or wrong. It's not a black and white thing when it comes to decision making. It's okay, do you want to be in this? If you do that, then you're gonna miss out on this. Or the here's the pros. It's basically like a pros and cons for each of them because you're helping them think bigger. And they might need a lot of help thinking of some of those things depending on your child. Some can come up with those real easily. Some might think, Well,

My friends are there, or I you know, and you might want to think a little more nuanced than that. You might want to add some, well, there's also this and this. And you know, so those are other things where you can kind of build that skill and expand a little bit. Here's a couple more examples you wrote down that I think are really powerful. Is that that I I loved doing with our kids at this age, deciding how to communicate with a teacher or coach when there's a problem, right? Yeah. And like helping them do it, like not just saying, go take care of it, but you deciding how we're gonna, you know, maybe role-playing it, right? The other one was.

Choosing which friendships they want to invest in. That's a really, really powerful one. Spe I mean, man, we know middle school can be a real tricky time for that. And so if you start out at first, it may be just one conversation, but then when things happen and you get a little into the school year and then that conversation might be revisited and do we want to shift around where you're focusing and who you're you know. So these are conversations you can come back to and teach your kid to eva do make a decision, reevaluate, you know.

And then the the next stage of life would just be teenage years. And the goal here is to practice the real life skills that they're gonna need for adulthood while parents are still available for them to guide, support, and help them recover. So some meaningful choices there. Man, there's so many I'm thinking of, but building choosing courses, electives, the career exploration, if they're gonna do concurrent enrollment or post-high school options, deciding whether a challenging class, job, sport, or leadership role fits their.

Their capacity, you know, whether or not they can keep doing it. I mean, I'm talking to a lot of kids or am I gonna quit soccer now? Am I gonna continue with the the sport? managing your homework, your test prep, what you're gonna do when you do miss work and w with w with consequences that that teach rather than rescue, right? Because if you don't turn in some stuff, there's gonna be some consequences there. So instead of a sweeping in to rescue them, how do we help teach them how to manage that? Talk to a teacher about that, maybe I can make that up later. All those kind of conversations are crucial.

Kyle and Sara Wester (18:39.275)
I mean, you you were just saying the other day, Sarah, that that jobs are wanting t kids who actually can call somebody on the phone and talk to them. Two skills, two skills that now, I mean, our day, you did not put this on your resume. Someone would have laughed at you. But nowadays, if your kids can make phone calls and small talk, if they can greet people or or to chat with someone, small talk. And who would have ever thought that would be Well, I'm even thinking like a big choice I hear from a lot of kids is like.

Am I gonna break up with that person over the phone or over text or in person? I mean, you see them just like, I don't know, what's the best way to go, right? managing a budget for clothes, applying for jobs, making plans with friends and communicating details, all all those kind of things, right? Okay. What kind of car I'm gonna get. So many there's so many things hitting them, and it's such a great opportunity to within the safety of their home and and with you guys, their parents.

To be practicing some of this stuff and thinking about it because someone's not even on their radar. Yeah. And yeah. Well, and here it's very important that the parent becomes less the director and the manager of the kid's life and more, you're just more the consultant. Right. So really seeing girls and try to have you, it can be so tempting to jump in there, you know, try to make sure that you don't just disappear, but you're not jumping in. Yeah. So this you you threw out this word earlier, Sarah, called scaffolding, right? Right. And I think a lot of our listeners have heard that term.

But basically it's talking about kind of building the skill step by step. I almost think of it like a ladder or a scaffold, right? That you're you're going up. So so this is how you can slowly start handing over the power of choice more and more to your kids and letting them take more and more responsibility. I think we can all get that concept, right? Like giving all that responsibility to a six-year-old is just gonna crush them. Almost think of it, I like to think of it as like weightlifting and just you know, I'm telling I tell these teenage boys specifically, it's it's like bench pressing, right? Like at first.

You're there doing just the bar and then eventually you're doing more weight, but you always are having somebody spot you to make sure you're doing it safely. But but but at some point, the weight that used to be very hard seems very simple, you know? And that's actually the power of growing up and making choices and and understanding how to deal with the responsibility, the weight of your choices, and knowing you can handle this. Okay. But you can't just tell the kid that. They have to practice, right? Yeah.

Kyle and Sara Wester (20:59.563)
So do not suddenly hand your kid a major responsibility and say, good luck, have fun. You know, autonomy is about scaffolding. So number one, you decide and explain. So something like this is not a choice yet, but I want you to understand why we're doing it. You know, why did we make that choice as a family? Okay. Number two, you offer a few meaningful options. So like I would like you to choose an activity. Let's look at these three possibilities, right? That's really fun.

You see, that's the next. First, it's like, okay, here's some choices within these parameters. Yep. Yep. And then number three is you decide together. So you tell me what you want. I'll share what I see and we'll make a plan together. Okay. Number four is they decide with your coaching. So this is your choice. Before you decide, let's think through the time, the cost, transportation. What happens if it becomes too much? And then the fifth one is they decide and they carry more responsibility. I trust you to make this decision. I'm just here if you want.

any any help thinking it through. Yeah. Yeah. And so I I think that kind of spells out the steps that you're wanting to get as your kids going through your house. and and the amount of for lack of a better word, freedom, because I think they already have that freedom, but the amount of freedom should grow alongside their demonstrated skill, not the age. So what we're trying to emphasize there is the amount of opportunity, I guess with the other word, the amount of opportunity to make these choices should be tied into them growing in that skill.

And not just being at a certain age. Yeah. Yep. So here's some questions that can help your kids start developing their brain and reflecting upon choices and how to make them. Okay. So instead of immediately just giving an answer to a kid, say something like this: What matters most to you about this? What are the benefits and the downsides? What will this choice require from you? I love that. Like time, energy, all that stuff, right?

What what might be hard about this? what's your backup plan? I think a lot of parents ask that. Because the kid's like, I want to be an NFL star or I wanna I want to be a musician. What's your backup plan? Okay. what do you need from me? that's one I ask parents to ask a lot about when it comes to planning their school and them saying, like, ask the kid, like, what grades do you want to make this year? And then the kid might say, All A's and B's. Like, well, what do you need from What kind of help do you need?

Kyle and Sara Wester (23:24.285)
if this does not work, what could you do differently next time? So the goal in this these questions is not just to help them choose, but it's to teach them the process of decision making. Okay. Okay. We also want our kids to be able to rebound when they make mistakes, because that is really hard. Yeah, I think this is such an important point. And it's really hard because I think lots of we grow up in a world where choices are framed, and I think inadvertently.

Parents don't mean to do this, but they frame them as good or bad choices, right or wrong choices. Yeah. That leaves very little options. So, like, if I'm gonna make a choice, I a lot of kids get really anxious about that because they're like, which one is this? This is the right or wrong choice, right? Okay. So so children will sometimes choose an activity that they they do not love. they'll overcommit, they'll wait too long on an assignment that's never happened to our kids, mishandle a friendship, or spend money they wish they had saved.

Yes. I mean we've all done that as adults. I'm sure you can remember doing it as kid. But that does not automatically mean the parent gave them too much freedom. It may mean the child is just learning. Yes. Okay. So resiliency is built when children experience manageable disappointment and they discover a few important things. Right. They discover things like I can handle hard feelings. Yeah. I can repair things that I broke. I can ask for help next time.

And I can make a better choice in the future. Yeah. We actually want to let our kids mess up. So we're not gonna let we're not gonna give a choice that could be detrimental to them, right? Depending on their age. But you wanna give something where you think this might go wrong. And they might be really disappointed, or they might, you know, but that's a great, we've gotta just remind ourselves this is so great, because they will build resiliency, they'll see that they can get over it, they'll learn how to

ought to correct when you've gone the wrong way and things that we all adults need and hopefully practice and this is their chance to do it, but you're with them. Yeah. And you're not with them in some, I told you that was a bad choice. Yeah. You're there and and you're there in a way of saying, Yeah, me too, man. I've been there, I've done that, I've regretted something or I've been disappointed and and this is, you know, how can I help you through this moment? You know Well all this seems so easy, Sarah. Like why don't we always just do this?

Kyle and Sara Wester (25:44.982)
because it's scary. Because it's scary, right? I'm sure every parent's like easier said than done. Very And there's a lot of things that get in our way. Okay. And definitely we feel these as well as you do as a listener. There's fear that our kid's gonna make a mistake, right? knowing that we could have done it faster and better. Possibly, possibly, right? anxiety about how their choices will reflect on us. Yeah. That's a big one. confusing guidance with control.

wanting to prevent every discomfort that our kids are gonna face, right? And that that's kind of where in this midst of like where we're trying to parent better, be more involved, be more active, right? Sometimes that gets in the way too. It's like we just don't want to see our kids hurting. Yeah, but hurting it can also help our kids, right? It can help them grow. It's rough. It is. So so so here's a question for you as a parent. Is and just I want you to be thinking this. Am I making this decision because my child truly is not ready?

Or because it's hard for me to watch them learn and grow. So start small, but but do not stay small. Look for one real area of your child's life this week where you can move from managing them to coaching them. Our job is not to raise children who always make the choice we would make. Because that would be gross. I don't want to raise little robots. Our job is to raise adults. this is one of our goals and dreams that we have: to raise adults who can pause.

consider, take responsibility, ask for help, recover when they make mistakes, and make wise choices when we are no longer in the room. And that really takes a lot of work. It does. Yeah, it takes a lot of work. I think it's a very important to be very intentional about this. Cause we we get in there and especially if life is busy, you wind up swooping in more. And so you you have to be intentional about it. Yeah. So I I'd I'd encourage you also just be noticing all the choices and possibilities you have.

whatever age your kid are to guide, to teach conversations you could have about it. You know, like you said, make it very intentional but organic, you know? and and I just you want to raise kids that are good at doing. We need a world where kids don't just know how to make good or bad choices, but to understand how to actually reflect and recover and you know, all take responsibility for all the choices that are out there for them. Okay. And it's a it's a world of opportunity. And that's actually a blessing, not a curse. So

Kyle and Sara Wester (28:04.961)
Thank you so much for for listening. I hope the school year is starting off very well with you and that your kids are gonna be faced with many opportunities to make choices all this school year and grab a hold of those opportunities to help guide them and coach them through it. So we appreciate you listening.