Episode 228

You know, I think curiosity is one of the most beautiful things about kids. And you know, it's why they ask questions. It's why they want to understand how things work. they like to test what they can do and they like to become more independent and try new things. But you know, my goodness, curiosity can also be so scary as a parent. It can lead a young child towards danger, a tween towards things that they cannot yet process, or a teen towards pornography, alcohol, drugs, sex.

risky behavior or choices that they are later going to regret. So how do we as parents protect our kids without making them afraid to ask questions? How do we let them grow without leaving them alone with things that they are not ready to handle yet? We want to raise kids that are curious and full of wonder. And we are going to give you a step-by-step process how to do that in a way that is safe on how they can like completely let that curiosity

motivate them to be excited about living and learning and growing and all that stuff, but they're gonna need to do it with you. And so we're gonna talk about how to do that at each age group on how you can throughout this new school year be able to take that curiosity hand in hand, create a life filled with wonder. So we'll give you some real practical steps on how to do that. If you've not already taken a moment to pause and rate, review, and comment on our podcast, please do that because that always is so helpful to us. Also, the feedback helps us.

know better what episodes to create in the future as we continue to support your family. And definitely share the episode. We love it when people share it to other families because we wanna we're we're we're doing this so we can help as many families as we possibly can all throughout the world. So sit back, enjoy this episode on curiosity.

Kyle and Sara Wester (00:00.77)
Hello and welcome to the Art of Raising Humans. I'm Kyle. Hey everybody. I'm Sarah. And if you're watching us on YouTube and it looks like I have a black eye, it's because I do. And so I mentioned it last podcast, but it's still there. And so if you hadn't heard it, yeah, I was in a little playing a fun game in the swimming pool and got kicked in the face by my 10 year old and she plays competitive soccer. So that that didn't feel so great. So that's why I've got kind of a shiner. And if you want to see what I look like with a shiner, go check out our YouTube channel. So you can see how it's not so

It's not so bad. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it definitely looks like somebody got into a fight with me. but hey, if that raised your curiosity, that's perfect because that's what we want to talk about today. Is the power of curiosity. Right? Yeah, and well, and the reason why, well, as we're talking about topics going into the school year, curiosity is one of those topics, right? I mean, you hope in a positive way.

That's what's happening when they're learning, right? Right. You actually want their curiosity raised, right? You're hoping that they're curious about science and math, all the things. No, and I I think this is one of the things I really had to change in our kids growing up, right? Is is part of you is like, you want a kid that's curious. But then their curiosity is kind of annoying. Like I remember how many times I would want to go on a walk and the kids kept looking at all the bugs, and I'd be like, What are we doing here? And you're like, they're just curious. I'm like,

I just want to walk. So sometimes it's not the stop and smell the roses type. A walk for him is you check the box. You get it done as quickly as possible. Yes. And so it was confusing to me when they wanted to stop and look at everything. I'm like, it's sand. And like, but then in reflection, as you would say that, and I'd be thinking about it, I'd be like, that is what's so beautiful about being a kid, but also having a kid is the reminder that these things are fascinating. Yeah. Yeah.

You and anytime you watch like a documentary about these things, it is really, really fascinating. But we as we grow up, some what we we we get rid of that curiosity. We we kind of don't listen to it as much. And some of it, if because of the way we were parented or the way even the school system is, it's like some of that curiosity is kind of killed in us. Yeah, it is. It's it's like, yeah, I don't ask questions, just do this, this, and this. Well, and I almost like this word that is as as we were doing this write-up for this episode, the word wonder. I like that. Like curiosity.

Kyle and Sara Wester (02:15.478)
To me, in its best form, is tied to the sense of wonder that you want your kids to have, right? But I also think curiosity sparks up this fear in parents. And I know that that's kind of as kids start to get older, you start to get more scared of that. Because that fear that comes in us that they might be curious about the wrong things, right? And then it makes us want to control it instead of guide it. Yeah. Right. Makes us there is a danger to curi curiosity can go both ways. Yes.

And that's real, that's legit. Even with little kids when it's something they want touch stove and we say, hot. You know, they're curious. They want to push buttons and mess up your TV and whatnot because they're curious about the buttons. What does this button do? What is that button? Or they want to go touch a bug that could hurt them or something, right? So so we see and it causes that fear. And but but we all know, I mean, we've seen enough movies or TV shows or big kids ourselves that when you start trying to control the curiosity, almost like any feeling, when you start trying to control any feeling, it just leads to kids doing one of two things.

They either start shutting down and not listening to it or just seeking out these things they're curious about, these activities, without your guidance, right? And they become they become like taboos, like, ooh, why won't mom and dad let me look at that or see that? Right. And that's what happens, I think, a lot with screens and movies or or these kinds of kids say, why can't we watch this? Because we're not having conversations about what is appropriate and inappropriate. It's just no, that's bad. Don't do that. Right.

Yeah, there's all kinds of obviously drugs, alcohol, there's all those things. So so if we start out at a just a a factual point, the curiosity is just a normal developmental drive. It is just a feeling that motivates us to go do something, right? young children explore curiosity with their bodies, touching, climbing, opening, tasting.

testing things, right? Tweens will do it about like like about fairness, about the the the ideas about the bigger world and why are things this way about peers and and what you know like like how could that person's acting that way, right? All those kind of things. Yeah. I think it's a little more subtle and we don't always view it as curiosity. Yeah. But it kind of is where you see kids kind of

Kyle and Sara Wester (04:24.256)
trying on different different styles and almost personalities but not you know it's like I'm gonna try this it's because they're curious which one feels the most like me yeah but what's it like to be in those shoes? What's it like to be a person who does this, you know? I like that. Yeah. So it looks different than just smelling a rose or or mess with a we don't always just think of it that way, but it is that that drive in their brain that's curious. And then the teenagers become curious about independence, about relationships, about sex, about adult behavior.

About risk and where they belong. You know, where are they most accepted? curiosity is often a child trying to just gain mastery, make sense of something that seems confusing. They want to feel included or feel more grown up. we do not want to raise children who are afraid to wonder, to be curious. We want to raise children who learn what to do with their wonders.

Yeah, when when I hear that, that's immediately pops in my head, Sarah, is is Mr. Rogers. I think Mr. Rogers and Mr. Rogers' neighborhood, he would do all I mean, like even curiosity, like after JFK's assassination, he it's very famous how he had a whole talk about death and about like kids are curious about death, kids are curious about these scary things. And lots of times we don't know how to talk to them about it, so we just want to push it away and not talk about it, you know? but curiosity can be such a powerful tool.

what it does initially is it just draws our kids' attention, you know, immediately draws their focus to it. what when we want to know something, the brain is engaged in seeking information. And I see curiosity, Sarah, what what becomes harder in kids as they get older, who maybe the school system hasn't learned how to cultivate that or parents have been afraid of it, is there's just a lack of motivation. You know, that they they aren't curious about learning new things. They just like, what do I need to learn to get through this? Yeah. And in and

Curiosity, I mean I like this. There there's some stuff in our we won't get into all the little details of it, but I like research. So I was reading more and more about this. And and there's curiosity is actually a really good piece to help with memory. So kids will remember things better in school, they'll learn things better when they have come with curiosity. And it helps them remember things. And so that's kind of it's meant our brain, our b we want to be curious, want our kids curious because we want them to learn, grow, and that works better in the space of curiosity. Yeah.

Kyle and Sara Wester (06:50.102)
versus you will learn this and they're not even curious about it, they're not asking the question. Or or demands we're gonna do this or this is important to our family. I'm thinking like even the intentional family conversations of kind of drawing the kid into those values even, like how come these are important to us? How come we want to treat people this way? Like the kids starts to go, how come we do? Why instead of just we have to do it this way. We're gonna talk to it. I love that idea of drawing their curiosity into it because they're more likely to remember it and maybe also integrate it, you know, because of their curiosity. so

Let's adolescence, I want to point that out. also brings like this stronger well Yeah, no, no, go ahead. No, I think this is like so important for parents. I think this is something I remind myself of. It's like, okay, we're in the teen years, this is what's happening. Yeah, and so I wanted to emphasize the adolescence time because that's the time I think it kind of gets scary. Yeah. Is adolescence brings a stronger sensitivity to novelty, to the reward system in our brain, to social experiences and peers.

So that can lead to some wonderful risk. Like they may, I've I've seen kids do this where they'll sign up for some activity. The parents like, why did they sign up for that? Or they actually might pick up an instrument and just start playing it and be like, there's so many kids I've seen, Sarah, who they're like obsessed with the violin or the saxophone. And you know, you know how that I'll ask them, like, how did you get into that? And they'd be like, they just went into an orchestra class or a band, and the teacher said, Why don't you try this one? And the kid was curious, and the kid did.

And now the kids are obsessed with it and the kids wanting to do it. Yeah, they're they're sent they're so drawn to what you said there, that word novelty. So the new thing, you know, they're like, what's that? what's that? And that really lights up their brain. And at this point in their development, that's a really big deal. So we want to remember that this is going on, this is natural. They're gonna be kind of high there's a heightened sensitivity to all of it that does not exist in us. So where we're like

What are you doing? What's happening here? We're just we're not there in that brain space. Well, and I do remember going to camps. I didn't know anybody, but you just be like, yeah, you I see these kids, they don't know anyone, but they're just interested, they're curious. What's that camp about? They heard something about it. but that that's what helps them like speak up, helps them make new friends. But we know the scary part is it can also cause them to make unsafe choices and like take risks.

Kyle and Sara Wester (09:06.028)
that that are really compelling to them. Like they're they're speeding or they're driving or like you said, trying to vape or or do those kind of things. And and or hey, look at this, look at this video I just saw. Yeah. That's true. And they and it's almost like the whole TikTok thing, right? Where they'll see a tick. I gotta go do that TikTok thing. Yeah. And it and it's hard for them to pull themselves away from it because their brain is so drawn to it. Yeah. Now this doesn't mean the teens are incapable of making wise choices. They can. It just means they need our they need practice. They need our support.

And they need environments that do not demand more self-control than they have developed yet. Yeah. Okay. And if you're a parent of a teenager, you know what we're talking about. Like you don't want to put that kid in a position where they're more likely to fail. Yeah. Right. Okay. so here's four things to consider when you're trying to help kind of guide your kids' curiosity. So when your child is drawn towards something concerning, do not look only at the behavior. Try to consider these four things. Okay. So these are four things that

We kind of thought about that might be helped to give you kind of a map here. number one, that curiosity, consider that. Like, what are they actually trying to understand? What are they trying to experience? What do they believe they're gonna gain from this? number two, the risk. Could this actually hurt them physically, emotionally, socially, sexually, or legally? Number three, access. How easily can they get to this without adult support or supervision? And then the last one is just how ready they are. Like, do they have the maturity?

Do they have the impulse control? they have all the information and the skills to handle this well? Yeah. a child can be curious about something without being ready to have access to it. And of course that's that's real common. We all know that. Yeah, a kid may want to watch something that that's not yet there. I I I see it. Scary movies and yeah, inappropriate material. A lot of kids like start hearing like second, third grade from kids at school about horror movies and they want to watch these things. They have no idea what is actually there, right? Yeah. so

for example, a kid can be curious about fire without being ready to light one. a tween can be curious about sex without being ready for unrestricted sexual content online. A teen can be curious about alcohol or vaping without being ready to experiment with it. Or a child can be curious about a dangerous stunt without having the skills to access the risk. So we see curiosity show up in a lot of places, Sarah. One is physical curiosity. Yes. How does that show up?

Kyle and Sara Wester (11:28.418)
Well, I think you just listed something. No, yeah, but I'm saying like climbing, right? Like I I I think when they're very little like rough play, like doing rough housing with your kids. Yeah, there's that. Well you see kicked in my eye. I I remember some boys in my neighborhood setting up ramps to jump off with their bikes and skateboards. I'm not sure. there were there were injuries. There were injuries and stitches and things that happened. And I think that's an example of they're like, what would happen if

And then we found out I would never want our kids doing this, Sarah, but I was with all the kids. Me and my friends were all in the honors classes going through high school and doing things with like fire and rubber cement and like trying to find out different concoctions we can make. Yes. yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's a very dangerous one. So dry eyes and all these things you could do with these things. Yeah. That was very exciting and very fun. Right. so that's kind it's part of the job of being a kid to do that. You want your kid to do that.

Be excited to try new things, explore those things. But our job is to provide safe challenges, not to eliminate all those challenges, right? I mean, even like I think it's fun, like how making a like we'll do in the swimming pool sometimes, make a obstacle course, right? Yeah. I mean, there's so much curiosity about, well, what's that gonna be like? Who can win that? Right. That's a fun way. Then there's social curiosity. kids will be thinking, what will happen if I break this rule? You know?

The they're wanting to fit in at that time. They're they're the the wanting to maybe gossip or sneak out or test limits, explore their status, you know, see could I fit in with that group? I don't know, right? And so our job as a parent there is to help them think beyond the moment and maybe play out some responses to the peer pressure that that might occur. Yeah. then there's body and sexual curiosity, questions about puberty, their bodies, sex, relationships, pornography.

You know, so you see there even in those examples, some of that's really normal and really good. Other stuff's like, no, that could really take them down a unhealthy path. so the parent job there is to make the home the safest place to ask these questions about these things. Really wanna be I know every listener here probably wants to really have a relationship with your kid where they can ask about sex and ask about in ways that lots of us didn't parents we could do that with. You know. but you also want to be able to hold clear boundaries around access and behavior.

Kyle and Sara Wester (13:45.679)
Then there's adult world curiosity. So some kids want to know about alcohol, drugs, vaping, parties, violence, dating, mental health, all those things, right? And the job there is just to answer honestly, to be able to explain real risks and keep the relationship strong enough for future conversations to happen. Okay. And the last one here that I think everybody is dealing with, besides all those, is the digital curiosity, is the social media, man, seeing disturbing videos.

online challenges, strangers, and of course again pornography. And so there what we want to do is be able to recognize that access can arrive before they are ready. And it can create and we need to create wise guardrails for them. And they want us to. Yeah, yeah. I I think we know this exists out there. There's so many opportunities and so much access our kids have, and just to know that they're going to be curious, that's normal, that's natural.

And it is again about the guardrails and the conversations. Those conversations are so powerful. And they may be awkward or maybe hard for you to imagine, but we kind of have to step out there and practice and and continually have the conversations, not just a one and done, but check-ins and well, and they then kind of help you. kind of stealing from something Dr. Dan Siegel likes to do. Love to make acronyms, right? So hopefully this acronym can help you. we're gonna start out with the letter S, okay? So stay ready.

Your first response determines whether your child learns I can bring hard things to my parent or I need to hide this and never bring this up again. Yeah. So so really It's really important. Yeah. Be prepared. Be ready. They're they're gonna come to you. Yeah. take a breath before you respond. I mean, even though it might be really scary what they're saying, it might freak you out. Do not shame the question. Do not confuse discomfort that you're feeling with danger.

So saying something like this, I am glad you brought this to me would be great. Yeah. You are not in trouble for having a question. And let's slow down and talk about it. Yeah. I really think if you just do that one there of having that safe place and your kid can trust that they can come to you with these things, that's actually going to make them so much safer. Yeah. Yeah. And you really got to try to just calm yourself in it because if they sense that in you that you're uncomfortable scared, that you're

Kyle and Sara Wester (16:07.724)
Yeah, they'll think, ooh, I don't want to pause this in my parents, so I just won't bring it to them. And and already they're especially if they're older, they're more inclined to go to their peers and you really want them coming to you. So yeah. So we have to work double hard as parents. Yeah. Well, I and I think the kid the kids will tell me, Sarah, when I'm helping them in counseling, it's just I didn't want to upset them. Yeah, I just had a question. They really are more protective of us than we so then the A is ask for what is underneath. So curiosity is

Often not the whole story. You know, so some like, what what made you curious about that? Or what have you heard or seen already? Were you trying to understand something, or did someone show you that? what were you hoping to find out? I mean, these are simple just curiosity questions. and this is gonna help parents distinguish between it's just a passing question, which lots of times it actually is. It's just like a passing question. And sometimes they don't want to know as much as you know, they're just like, I was just trying to ask about it, and then you gave me all that.

No, in saying that, I remember in fifth grade asked my mom a question about masturbation and the way she handled it was exactly like we're doing this here. And it really helped me have an open conversation with my mom from then on about that because I'd heard about it in my sex ed class in fifth grade. And I was like, what is this? This is where when I asked my mom about it, it was a great conversation. No energy around it, and it really kept that conversation open about sex and all that stuff. but also we want to distinguish between so a passing question and exposure that they might need some help processing, peer pressure.

An interest in trying something different or new, or a child seeking belonging, excitement, connection, all those kind of things, right? Yep. So so you if you're if you're curious, so first of all, you're you're step stepping back, you're not freaking out, then you're asking for what's underneath, then F fit access to readiness. So fit access to readiness. Well, what do we mean by that? Is this actually the heart of this whole episode, right? Is that kids should not have unrestricted act unrestricted access because they are curious.

some some parents in this day and age, we we we don't wanna be controlling parents. Yeah. We don't want to be parents who create all these taboos and all these bad things. Trying to be more open with stuff. But it doesn't mean you don't have boundaries on it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, because even just from the point of their just their brain isn't ready. Yeah. You know, so it's something we've gotta just wait for their brain to mature, build some skills and well even Sarah, I know you've done that so many times where there's movies I want my kids to watch with me. And you've Kyle, hold on, hold on, and and like

Kyle and Sara Wester (18:34.426)
I I I know you're right that they're just not ready for that movie, even though it's just like the big ideas, the deep concepts. And so they're curious about it because I've talked about it, but it doesn't mean it's gonna be helpful to them. Yeah. Okay. parents should not expect a child to manage temptation alone in a setting adults know is difficult. more freedom should come with more demonstrated responsibility, communication, and skill. Just maybe once again that word freedom meaning more opportunity. So

Giving them more opportunities should be tied into them showing a responsibility and then their willingness to communicate and their will their ability to to to use that skill where it's not they're not being impulsive. They're not diving into dangerous, risky things. And the last one is limits are not punishment. They are support while judgment is still developing. So kids are allowed to be curious, but this is you could say this, you're allowed to be curious, but this is not something I'm comfortable with you having access to on your own yet. Yeah.

And just yeah, just have the conversation. Just tell them, you know. And the last part of the word safe, that's the acronym, is E. Equip instead of just saying no. Right? So give children a safer path to meet the underlying need. Because I think when you I mean, we've all been there where there's like, I want to know, I have a curious thing. And I I see kids that are like, How am I supposed to get this this itch scratched? Right. And mom and dad just said no. So typically they just wait till they go to a friend's house or they

Do it when you're sleeping or whatever it is, right? You don't want that kind of relationship to develop. That mom and dad don't aren't gonna guide me with this. I just get to go figure it out on my own. a child curious about fire can learn with adult supervision. A child curious about sex needs honest, age-appropriate information, not silence or unrestricted searching. A teen curious about alcohol, drugs, or vaping, you know, this is a big thing right now. They need direct facts, clear family values.

And a plan for what you're gonna do when you're faced with the peer pressure of people asking you to do to do that. A child a child drawn to thrill and risk just may need to be put in some sports, right? Adventure, skill building, or super. I mean, there's so many cool, helpful like ones that would get that same, you know, itch scratched, but in a way that's supervised and safe. Right. Where it's structured. I I think about kids who love to climb or jump or or kind of take risks like that. You know, it's like there's so many cool.

Kyle and Sara Wester (20:55.35)
Rock climbing, classes, parkour classes, things where they feel like they're getting that adventure that their brain is seeking. But it's with these, you know, instructors and things that are like, this is how you can do that. And it's once again, I I it's it's that recognizing that they are communicating a need to you and we're saying, I hear that need, help let I want to help guide that need. Right. Instead of just saying, No, I don't want you to to to ask about that or need that. And the kid will either just

Defy that or just shut that down. And you'll want either one of those. Cause really, like, this world requires, I mean, like, there's so many things that you and I have done, changes we've made in our lives, because we've been curious. We've been like, what would be that be like from either new food we're eating to new vacations we're taking to new friends we're making, right? All those things have benefited our lives because it started with that sense of curiosity. But if we shut that down and think it's wrong or bad or we need to control it, then it hinders the kid's ability to create. Okay. Yeah. So here's what this looks like.

by age. So younger kids, they need repetition, physical boundaries, safe alternatives. You want to know what happens when you touch that? I understand. Like, you so like this what you're saying to the kid. Maybe you talked about the fire earlier. You want to know what happens when you touch that? I understand. I cannot let you touch it because it can hurt you. Let's find another way to learn about it. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. So I kind of just it's almost like you're just flowing with it. You're kind of just take it. You're almost doing like a karate move. You know, I know you want to do that. That's not the way to do it. Let's do it this way. Right. You know.

And most kids will go, okay, cool. Yeah, show me how I can do that. That's awesome. with tweens, they need calm honesty, more proactive and intentional conversations and thoughtful limits around access. so you could say something like, You don't you don't need to figure this out alone or online. You can always ask me, even even if it feels awkward. And like, let me know if it's feeling awkward or weird, and I can do what I can to make it easier for you to have that conversation. And the then the last one is teenagers, they need respect, directness, clear limits.

and real practice with decisions. Okay. So being curious about something does not mean you need to try it. Let's talk about what you are seeing, what the risks are, and what you would do if someone offered it to you. And these are conversations, Sarah, I'm probably helping parents have on a weekly basis with their teenagers. Yeah, because they can be hard. These are these are not easy conversations. Yeah. So let's talk about practical things you can do this week to help you

Kyle and Sara Wester (23:21.006)
kind of guide, direct, coach your kids' curiosity. so let's make like try to number one, make one clear family message and that's this. You can ask us anything. Questions are always welcome. I love that. That's good. Right? Yeah, no, I I think it's really, really important. Yeah. Even if they don't always take if you just say it, there may be part of them that's like, I don't know if you can handle this question. Yeah. But you keep saying it. And then when they test the waters a little bit, you respond well, then they keep going. Yeah. Yeah.

Number two, adult, I mean audit access. Okay. So, of course, most people are aware of this, but considering the phones, the apps, the social media, alcohol medications, that's a big one. Lots of times kids might get into medications, weapons, vehicles, parties, and unsupervised settings. So basically you're just being thoughtful about the access. You know, Sarah, when I was doing drug and alcohol counseling, they talked about a lot of kids were overdosing because they were getting medication from their parents' medicine.

Cabinet that parents hadn't used in years. You know, it was like old pain medication from a surgery. So just even being thoughtful of that. I know at that time I didn't think of that. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't think kids would do that, but kids would. Even they said sometimes, you know, relatives will come over, like cousins or nephews or something. Nieces would come over and go in there and go to the bathroom, get curious about what medicine's there. Yeah. You know. so want to make sure you're auditing the access. Number three, decide where your firm boundaries are. So be clear about what your child can.

not explore alone yet. So just have that in your mind. What's appropriate? W what do we agree as a couple? You know, like you said, even with the movies, lots of times discussions of are do you think our kids are ready for that, even though they want to do that? No, let's put that off for a bit. There's no rush. Number four, have one proactive conversation. So pick an age appropriate topic your child may encounter before they bring it up. So tell me more about that. It's like an age appropriate conversation. Yeah, I think

Obviously our kids can encounter things and we don't expect it. Right. And we want to have that. But it's really great sometimes to just sit and think, hmm, okay, this is the grade they're in or this is how old they are, what could be coming down the pipe. And I want to I always think I want to be the one to inform them. I want to be the one to start the conversation. Cause then when it comes up, they go, yeah, I remember my mom said something to me about this, you know. And and so that's what I think. I just think about what's coming up and then I start it.

Kyle and Sara Wester (25:43.309)
Yeah, I love So it could be about what they're what might be online, you know, w what movies kids are talking about, right? it could be all it could be talking about like any kids vaping at school or those kind of things. Obviously like sex and digital world and porn and things like that is a really big one, but alcohol, drugs and you know, anything that you can think of. Even just like especially body changes, all those kind things. A lot of really good age appropriate conversations. Before your before puberty hits, you want to have the conversation that you know, so they're ready for it when the

s things start changing, they're like, yeah, I remember. And and it'll come back and and they'll feel better because they feel prepared instead of caught off guard. Yeah. And then number five is just practice one exit plan. So help your child know what to say when curiosity, pressure, or excitement puts them in a risky situation. Right. So lots of people already practiced this of like, I'm gonna call you mom and there's be a code word or something like that. And I'm gonna leave at that point, you know? And so just having that practice, they're they're more likely then

To be successful in those moments rather than getting caught up in the impulsiveness of it because that's just their kids, right? Yep. So it could be something like you could practice saying, like, I'm not gonna do that, or my parents will come get me, no questions asked right now, or I need to go, right? You can just role model all those things with your kids so they're more likely to be successful. So the the goal is for Sarah and I is is not to not to raise our children to never take risk or never ask a hard question.

or feel curious about or not feel curious about the world. We want them to be able to do those things, to feel curious and wonder. Once again, I love that word about the world and want to come to us with whatever they're thinking about, any questions they have. the goal is to raise adults who eventually know how to pause, think, seek, help, assess risk, and make choices that protect their future, that that, that, you know, they don't make decisions out of that impulsiveness, that curiosity that completely, you know,

messes up their future lives, you know, and that that's kind of a lot of people online sending picks to each other, you know, nude picks, those getting sent around, right? do doing mean things, bullying in certain ways. The kids don't know. You know, they have no idea that that's going to impact their future. Yeah. and so we want to if if we can phrase it this way, protect their wonder, pay attention to their access, expect impulsiveness to be impulsive to be part of growing up and keep

Kyle and Sara Wester (28:05.516)
becoming the safe, steady guide that they can come to when curiosity leads them somewhere that they don't yet understand. We got to be that source, that place. And this starts early. So the sooner you can make it safe to be curious, right? And and then I think an added part that we didn't mention kind of in our notes is just we want our kids to love learning and to love like and I see too much. I mean I hope in the future school systems will will evolve and change.

But lots of times the school systems in a traditional sense are just like stifling that curiosity. And a lot of kids just think learning sucks. We don't want learning, we want learning to be fun, because I think at its core, it's it's wonder. It's curiosity. Yeah. You know, I mean, actually the most fun classes kids tell me are like that science teacher who does those science experiments, right? even things like Mar we love watching Mark Robert online and the way he makes science.

So it's all about curiosity, right? It's all about and and that that really is at the core of a exciting life is waking up every day and having wonder. Yeah. You know, what does today have in store for me? Yeah. And how cool would that be if we raised our kids to wake up every day and the first thing they thought was like, what's gonna happen today? You know, I'm curious about what's gonna instead of waking up like, gosh, you know, I I don't want to do another day. You know, so I think eventually we want to cultivate that.

kids. So I hope this lesson and this understanding of curiosity shaping it this way helps you as the kids are going into this new school year to see learning that way and for you to see for you to be curious about this journey that they're on this year and all the ways they're going to change because they're going to change and grow this year in so many ways. So I hope you have wonder about that. And Sarah and I are so appreciative for you taking the time to listen. Definitely share this with other families that you know struggle with this because we want to support as many families as we can. So

thank you for listening and have a great day.