Episode 226

Maybe you have asked your teen, what do you want to do after high school? And they shrug, look at you blankly, or say, I have no idea. And maybe that answer does not just make you curious. Maybe it scares you. Maybe you start to feel a lot of stress and anxiety, and you start wondering, no, are they behind? Are they unmotivated? Do did we miss something?

Are they ever gonna launch and leave our home or are they gonna be stuck here the rest of their life? Especially when it seems like every other kid around them has a college plan, a career goal, some kind of new cool internship, or a five-year vision.

Parents are not just asking about a job. They are asking, will my child be okay? Will they be able to support themselves? Will they find something meaningful? Will they become an adult who can actually handle their life? And when we are scared, it can be easy to turn one uncertain answer into a story about our child's future. But here's the truth a teen who does not know yet is not necessarily a teen with no future.

Kyle and Sara Wester (30:35.265)
Today we want to help you know how to lead when your teen has no clear direction yet, not by pretending it does not matter, not by becoming passive, but by helping them grow the skills, the experiences, and self-knowledge that will help them find their way. And so you're gonna get a lot of those practical tools to start those conversations today. At the end, we're gonna give you a cool way to create a moment to really create like a just a really organic conversation with your kid about this that doesn't involve any fear.

But may really bring a lot of connection and closeness between you and your teenager. And if you are needing help today, if you're saying, Man, I really need some help and changing the dynamics in my family, would love for you to go to our website. Sarah has recently done so much work updating it and making it look beautiful for you, and to kind of explain more our vision about how we coach parents in moments just like this. So check out our website, artofraisinghumans.com, and click the coaching tab.

And would love to set up a short call with you to be able to talk about how we can help you in changing the dynamics in your family, the patterns in your family to create a more connected relationship with your kids where you can lead and guide them into a more successful future. So I know you're going to enjoy this episode. If you haven't already, please take time to pause, rate, review, and comment on the podcast. All that helps us be seen and heard by more parents. And we just are so excited to have this conversation with you today.

Kyle and Sara Wester (00:01.016)
Hello and welcome to the Art of Raising Humans. I'm Kyle. Hey, I'm Sarah. And Sarah, man, you know, school is starting and so many times, you know, I know even for us as we have teenagers, you're always asking the kids, you know, Well, what do you want to do with your life? You know, where are you gonna go? Yeah. What's the plan? I think everyone else is asking your kid that too. I think it's an opening and I find myself asking other teenagers that I know you see so and you think, so what are you doing? You know, it comes out of your mouth before you even think about it. It's it's

just defines that whole age, right? Yeah. And and what what are you gonna do as a parent or what do you do? I'd love to maybe, you know, listeners, you've experienced this when you ask your kid and they have no idea what they want to do.

Yeah, I think maybe when they're eight, nine, ten, they like, Yeah, it makes sense. You got time. Yeah, yeah. But when they're when they're sixteen, seventeen, you think, you you need to start to have a plan. Yeah. What's your plan? my gosh, yes. And so at that point you start to feel a little worried. And even if you think that's fine, you can have a gap year, there's this little thing that starts up in parents where they think, They have

Zero direction. Yeah. Something, you know, they I want I don't know what to do about this. And you know what? I s I hear this from teenagers. Lots of times they don't know what they want to do. They'll tell me that as I'm as I'm talking to them in a session, and then they feel worried. Yes. Yeah, because they they look around, they think, they believe all their other peers have an answer to that question. And and they're they feel like they're the only ones who don't.

You know, somehow they're supposed to know because their parents keep asking them or teachers or other people. Everyone is very aware that adulthood is on its way rapidly and and you are gonna need to pay bills and you're gonna need to do something with your life, right? Yeah, yeah. And and I think, you know, what we wanted to talk about specifically about that is why when when kids start feeling that pressure, it often backfires. You know, we we think we need to put pressure on them to start thinking about it, but it actually backfires. And what and we're gonna talk about what parents can do to help their teen.

Kyle and Sara Wester (01:54.304)
move forward with more confidence and ownership. Yeah, because I think there can be two different kids about it. There can be the kid who's who's really worried that they don't have a plan, right? And then there can be the kid who's like, it'll work out, right? No, no, I've seen those kids. And those k and that can be really scary for parents. I think parents want to want to help the nervous one, but then the the kid who they they feel like nonchalant about But this kid is way too chill about this. This is really important. This is the rest of their life. Yeah. Yeah. And so the it's it

This does bring up a lot of fears in parents. And it's hard because the path used to feel so much clearer. You know? Like when we were growing up, it seems clear. For most of our childhood, there was there was a path laid out for us. You know, I mean, like we kind of were just told you finish high school, you go to college, you get a job, you work your way up a career. Yeah, that was kind of what we were told. I mean, I know it hasn't actually looked that way. We've we've taken a lot of different detours, but basically it was like go to school.

Move to the next grade, you join some activities, you learn some new skills. Then suddenly in the teen years, adults start asking questions that feel enormous. Like, what are you gonna major in? What career do you want? Where are you going to college? What is your plan? And it can feel like they're supposed to choose a whole life before they've had much of an opportunity to live one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they they haven't, right? They haven't gone. There's so much out there that.

They haven't gotten to see, experience, know about, learn, they maybe heard some things. And there's so much they don't even know about themselves. Like they're still learning who they are in those ages. You know? So they're and they're also, you know, their brain, their prefrontal cortex is still being formed. And so it's difficult because their ability to think ahead, to make decisions, and even weigh the consequences of those decisions is slowly growing. their identity and who they are is growing too. They may be trying to figure out, what am I good at?

Well, what what they're trying to figure out, what do I enjoy? What kind of people do I want to do I want around me? what kind of work feels actually meaningful and gives me purpose? And what kind of life do I want? And that uncertainty is not always a problem that needs to be solved. You know, Sarah, I I'm I'm thinking that I remember when you and I we'd spent some time in Siberia, weird enough, right? Yeah. And when we were in Siberia, I remember talking to some kids, communism had fallen at that point about

Kyle and Sara Wester (04:12.447)
about ten years and we'd be talking to these kids who were at a local college there in a city called Irkutsk. And in that city, many of them were actually not happy that communism fell, that they they wanted communism. And that we were confused by that, being Americans who were like why why wouldn't you want freedom, man? Like what are you talking about? Freedom to do what you want. Yes. And and they said when my parents were kids, they took a test and they were told what they were good at. Yeah.

And that's and what they're everything was chosen for them. Yeah, that the we're we're gonna get a job for you. Now that's where you're going. Yeah. And now I have to choose. I have to decide what I'm And they had had decades of n not having choices. So it was kind of like no one knew how to do that. Yeah. And that can be really scary. Yeah. Because if you make quote unquote wrong choice, it could really take your life a certain direction, right? Whereas before you just kind of trusted the government to do it. Now that's very much not how you know the system is here. We want our kids.

To be able to discover who they are and then be able to choose. Yeah. And and and but but things are changing often. So so many times our kids are facing a different type of path than what we face for sure. yeah. And I know among the parents, I think parents, we we know this, right? Because all the parents we talk to, you know, you're just with your friends and talk about, and you think, man, some people, I don't we're not gonna do the college thing, we're gonna do the tech thing, or we're gonna do a trade, or we're gonna do

You know, we got everything from kids wanting to do just YouTube channels and being influencers and it seems like there's so many options and the gap year or straight into college. And even from on the parent side, we can see how different it is for our kid. Yeah. Compared to what it was for us. Yeah. But all that pressure to make those decisions, Sarah, and all those options even that you just talked about can really make a teen shut down. A team may may not be avoiding the conversation because they don't care.

They just may feel overwhelmed by the size of the question because it it it is a big one, even though we're asking it pretty flippantly. And it's not as something that they're conscious of, you know, it's almost it's a it's a coping that their brain naturally goes, I can't handle this, shut it down. Yeah. And so they they may fear disappointing you. They may worry they'll choose the wrong path. They may have huge worry about that. But they may have no language yet for even what they're interested in. And to be honest with you.

Kyle and Sara Wester (06:30.199)
They they may not even know that job exists, you know, or how how do I talk about how do I say I like this? Is there even a job that does that? So when the question feels like choose your whole life right now, a teen's most honest answer may be, I don't know. Okay. And and honestly, parents, we might kind of feel that way too. I don't know. I mean, AI's adding a whole other layer. Yep. We know now we're parents like, I don't know if that's a good idea. I don't know what AI's gonna do to the whole.

Yeah. Job market. Yeah. And then well, and then when the kid says, I don't know, that may spark our nervous system as the parent. And we have to notice that when our fear just starts taking over, it's understandable to want certainty for your kid. I mean, that that can feel good. they want to do that and they're good at that. That's a good and sometimes that happens and that's great. But our anxiety can accidentally communicate, you're behind. You should already know this stuff. Your future depends on getting this right now. and that does not.

Just so you know that does not create motivation. It often just creates more shame, more avoidance, and more resistance. Yeah, it's to kind of paralyze them in the process. It's already very difficult. And you can see it when you ask a teen who doesn't know, you know, they get this little panic look in their eyes because they're they they know that. Yeah. And so here's here's what we've noticed that teens actually need from us. And this is something that we're working on with our own teenagers is the goal is not a perfect plan.

The goal is not to get a 15-year-old or 17-year-old to pick the quote unquote right career. The goal is to help them become a young adult who can do what? Well, notice their strengths, you know, be aware of what they're good at. try things. You know, like I mean, that really just don't be afraid to try new things because you never know. The build to handle discomfort, you know, that some of these things might be hard or uncomfortable. learn from your disappointments. Ask for help. Make a decision.

And adjust when something doesn't quite fit. I think a lot of times the the teens are being told to think about what they like and go do that, right? And it's all of these other this whole list here is so helpful because yeah, we should think about what we like. But thinking about where where am I curious? Where am I

Kyle and Sara Wester (08:48.895)
All this list of questions is so helpful for actually looking at a much broader scope of things that can give them clues as to their path. And I don't know about anyone else, but you know, our careers have shifted and moved and it's it's not basically.

Then when we're adults and things are shifting and even AI or whatever might come along next, because this is in us and this is the way we look at our life experiences, it helps us have some resiliency, some creativity, some the an ease to shifting that's gonna serve us long term. Yeah, yeah. And and it like Sarah's saying, most adults, you know, if you're thinking about your own story, we don't end up living out the exact plan that we had. You know, it definitely changed it. Life involves pivots.

There there's always little bumps in the roads or changes. The most important or we even wish we could pivot. You know, like I got this degree and I made that choice when I was eighteen. And now I think, why? Why don't I don't want to keep doing this? Well, for instance, my degree undergrades in theology. You know, your degree is in psychology. That's what it's good. But but even then I had no idea I'd be doing this. And then we came together and chose a master's degree that we wanted to do together. And that's how we both became counselors. the most important thing though is not that your teen

picks the right option or picks it perfectly. It is that they learn how to navigate change. And like you're saying, Sarah, in this changing world, what a what an important skill, right? Honestly, that that list is probably something that would serve a lot of adults right now. You know, we could probably all benefit from thinking, what if I look at this and this and yeah. And and we're not trying to raise teens who can predict their future. We are raising teens who can meet their future as it comes. Right.

So let's try to avoid these two unhelpful extremes that we tend to see. Extreme one is let's put pressure in control. So we're constantly bringing it up. You know, it's a constant point of conversation. You need to be joining these clouds, you need to be building that, you know, this is where you're going. Yeah, comparing them to siblings or friends. Like he already knows what he's gonna do. He's already look how many things he's involved in, you know? treating every interest as something they must that must become a career, you know. you like that. Let's go pursue that one. making them feel irresponsible for not knowing.

Kyle and Sara Wester (11:12.341)
And then trying to choose the path for them. So let's let's get it. That's all about pressure. That's all about control. It's really about managing our own, like trying to make ourselves feel better, you know, because we can get control of that things. We're worried about them. Yeah. And extreme two would be just total passivity, you know, backing off and you know, pretending there's nothing to talk about, you know, never bringing it up, avoiding conversations because you don't want the conflict, removing all responsibility from the kid and and

coming up with these choices, you know, and then waiting for motivation to appear without creating opportunities to explore. Yeah, I think that can feel like, good, you know, I don't want to put too much pressure on my kids. And we can almost slide too far away. And that doesn't build those skills either, right? They need a set of skills and and that balance of not putting too much pressure on them, but we still want to be building something that helps them down the road versus just a complete back off. And then they're just out there flailing

Yeah. And it's not gonna help on the long term. Well, and that brings me to the middle path, which you're saying there's a third path is what you're trying to explain. That where we would call it calm, connected leadership. So we do not force a life plan, we do not abandon them to just figure it out alone. We stay close to them. We ask good, curious questions, we create real opportunities, and we expect growing ownership from them to where they'll slowly take that over more and more. Okay.

So here's four ways that we kind of talked about that will help help you without pressuring your kid. So number one, calm your own fear before you start the conversation. So if you're feeling anxious, don't start asking these questions there. First, calm yourself down. Maybe ask yourself this. What am I afraid this means? You know, if my kid says, I don't know. What what what message are you receiving from that? Are you afraid that they're gonna fail?

Are you afraid they will not be financially stable and they're gonna live in your house for the rest of their lives? The whole basement joke. Playing video games in your house the rest of your life. Are you afraid they will never leave home? Are you afraid they will not have the kind of life that you hoped for them? Your fear deserves some compassion, but it does not need to become your teenager's burden. So try saying something like this you do not have to have everything figured out right now. That's something that I tell teenagers all the time when I'm helping.

Kyle and Sara Wester (13:28.913)
I believe you will find your path. Man, just seeing that confidence in your eyes really will help them be able to feel more confident that they will. We can take this one step at a time. my job is not to decide your future for you, my job is to help you prepare for your future. Love those. Yeah. You know, a lot of compassion. And as a teenager hears those, they're able to relax. And then remember, we do bring the brain up quite a bit.

You want to help your teenager get to a place where they're in their prefrontal cortex, and that's where all of their creativity comes from. That's where their sense of hope comes from. Like, man, there's so many options rather than, man, there's so many options, you know? I mean, that's what those kids in Siberia were telling us. And cause there was another set of kids there who were like, what are you talking about? I'm so glad communism here, because I can choose my own path, you know? And what you saw between them was one was coming from a place of confidence and competence that they could create the future.

And the other ones of just scared to death of what the future was going to do to them. Yeah. number two, trade big life questions from maybe asking smaller, curious questions. So instead of saying, what are you gonna do with your life? What are you gonna major in? What's your plan? Maybe try something like this. What kind of problems do you enjoy solving? When do you feel most capable? What do you find yourself reading, watching, or learning about without being told?

do you like working with people, ideas, tools, animals, technology, or something else? this is one of my favorites there. What drains you? I know. It's a bit I love that. Cause it it's the leaning into it's equally good to know what to set down as well as what to pick up. Yeah. And I think a lot of times we're kind of looking at something, but sometimes it's really good to know what to leave behind. Yeah. I think what's interesting about this too, sometimes I'm talking to kids about this. I'll ask, Well, what is it you like to do? And sometimes kids will have a few.

But it's kinda hard. They're like, I'm not really sure. And they'll say, Well, what don't you like to do? And they can typically give me a lot of those, right? So then we can quickly cut off a bunch of careers. Cross off, cross off, cross off. I I would never want to have to do a medical thing with anybody. Like blood scares me. So yeah. Okay, cool. Let's cut that out, right? Or like I would get and they can quickly like go. So some of that, what drains you is kind of the same thing. What just wears you out, just exhausts you. I need the energy of people around me. I don't like being alone or

Kyle and Sara Wester (15:49.646)
I'm not a I don't enjoy I love being but those b all both sides of that are so helpful. But the point is don't turn every answer into a lecture or a career recommendation. You're the whole point of these questions is just to listen. Let your teen feel known before they feel directed. Because they're not gonna be as open to your direction if they don't feel seen and known. So the the key idea here is curiosity opens doors, that pressure will close. Okay. So we want that door wide open.

Because I do believe your guidance and your support is gonna be essential to helping them know what they want to do. Okay, and then number three is help them gather experiences, not just information. So teens don't discover themselves only by sitting and thinking, you know, they discover themselves by doing things. So some possible experiences that we have thought about doing with our own kids is a part-time job, maybe some volunteering, maybe some job shadowing, talking with adults in different careers.

Trying a a new class, a new club, a new sport, or a creative outlet, helping with a family project, learning to pract learning a practical skill, and lastly taking on some kind of responsibility that matters. their first experience does not need to reveal their quote unquote calling. It can simply teach them something useful, like I like working with my hands, right? Yeah. I like you heard said earlier, say I love being around people.

I don't wanna sit at a desk all day. I like solving problems. I enjoy creating things or I need work that feels active. Yeah. I just I love the differences in those questions and I think they're very, very, very helpful. And, you know, I know I wanna be even more intentional as I was thinking about this episode of weaving this into my conversations with all my kids because I think that

You can start this at a really early age, you know, and it's something that can develop over time and they can be thinking about at a young age. Yeah. Yeah. And and so there there are some helpful questions maybe after you do an experience like this, maybe they have a part-time job or something, but just asking them, you know, maybe at night when they're hanging out in the living room, like, what what what did you like about that? Or what didn't you like about it? what surprised you about that experience? would you want to do more of that or less of it? Right. So all those are just kind of questions.

Kyle and Sara Wester (18:09.527)
To help your kid kind of r do some reflection. Yeah. And kind of think 'cause lots of times they just do the experience of like, okay, I'm done with that. You know, but like, let's let's reflect on it. What what can you learn about this? Okay. Well, and and there's things that your kid is, let's say they play a sport or they're in theater or they're in some steam club or something like that. it is it the actual activity? Is it the people? Is it the creativity of the moment? Or, you know, so I think.

These questions don't cause you could think, my kid likes robotics class. Is it that? Do they actually like the building of the robot? Is it like do they like the teamwork that's happening in that moment? So I think these questions are helpful because it may you may think, my kids should do robotics. They love robot, but maybe that's not actually what they're thriving on and loving about it. And it's good for them to

kind of have that internal experience of exploring themselves and what they're leaning into and what they're actually taking away from a moment. I don't care if it's banned, I don't care what it is. There's something there if they're if they're enjoying it that it's good for them to open their eyes up to the whole experience and which pieces it what's lighting them up. Great. Okay. And then the the fourth part of this is help them start building some ownership in small real ways. Okay. We talked about kids having confidence, kids feeling competent.

Right. So confidence does not come from us telling our kids that they're capable. Confidence grows when they actually do things that show them they're capable. And that's huge. give them appropriate responsibilities, stuff like looking up information, maybe sending an email, making a phone call. I mean, that sounds simple, but that's actually hard to a lot of teens. You know, a lot of teens are like calling somebody, what do I say? You know, like they're calling a business or things like that. I've actually These little tiny skills that

that build up and I I've helped a lot of college kids who are actually very nervous about that. Yeah. applying for an opportunity, planning part of a visit or job shadow, managing some of their schedule, you know, like putting them l I've talked with many families about getting a a a group a family schedule where they can add things to that, where they can see what's coming up, you know. learning how to solve a problem before asking you to solve it.

Kyle and Sara Wester (20:24.309)
So and it's it's not the outcome that we're wanting. It it's actually the process of it that's so valuable to our kids. So it's not that they execute a phone call perfectly or they do something perfectly. That's it's not the goal. It's the there's so much that happens as you're taking those steps and moving through these little things. And of course, we want them to get successful at many of these skills. But if you look at the big picture, it's these little things feeling like they can step out there and they can practice something and mess it up and tweak it.

That's that's really valuable. And I know this this sounds like, wow, we're so busy. We have so much on our plate. But but it but if you're intentional about it, you'll see these opportunities are right in front of you all the time. Yeah. And yes, it is quicker to do it yourself, probably, but it's a missed opportunity for them to get better at that. So I would encourage you to be thinking, what are those opportunities where I can help them build their confidence, feel more capable? So try saying something like this like I'm help, I'm happy to help you think this through. What is your first step? I mean, this is a good one, Sarah. Lots of times when

Maybe a kid needs to email their teacher or something like that, right? Ask a question that way. This would be a great one to ask. what information do you need before you decide? Who could you ask for help? Okay. I will support you, but I want you to practice taking the lead now. And this is not about making them do it alone. Too often I think parents make that mistake, Sarah. It's either they're doing it for the kid or they're like, I've already shown you how to do it, go do it. And it's like they they they want to do it with you. It's that support with you that's different.

It is about gradually moving from doing it for them to doing it with them or alongside them. Okay. So here's what this can look like at different ages. So if you have a younger team, we've got kids who are 16, 14, and 10. If they're younger, focus less on career decisions and more on just exposure to new things. Help them notice their strengths, their interests, their values. Encourage hobbies, service, creative work, practical skills, and doing some meaningful responsibility around the house or with other people.

And then keep the conversations light and ongoing. Okay. and mess the message you want to send to your younger teen is you don't need to have a plan yet. Okay. You just need to keep learning about yourself and the world. And that takes off a lot of pressure for that kid. Like your whole job is just to live, but be curious and notice, reflect upon these activities you're a part of. What are you learning about yourself? Now, for older teens, the conversations become a little bit more practical.

Kyle and Sara Wester (22:47.617)
So you're wanting to help them explore possible next steps without treating one decision as permanent. So you talked about this earlier, Sarah. There's a lot of options like college, trade school, work, maybe having a gap year with some structure. There could be certification programs they want to do, or another path may may all all those all those kind of things may be worth exploring. But the focus is not having all the answers. The focus is on making a thoughtful next decision. So it really is as simple as just what's the next step?

Yeah. And and for many, you you know as an adult, a lot of times that's just all you know. It's just I need to figure out what the next step is. And it doesn't yeah, it doesn't need to be all figured out by eighteen, nineteen years old. Yep. Yep. And you you'll need to have your whole future figured out. Yeah. And you you know I mean we all know different people who went back to school later or went and and and took a whole shift and got a different master's degree or you know, so just be let encouraging them to feel like they can take the next step that's in front of them and not

be locked in, it it opens so much up for them and reduces anxiety. Well, once again, that's where the creativity comes from. That's where they may figure out, I I actually want to go this place, you know? And and it's it's that it's that lack of anxiety and fear about that can help them pivot to something that might actually be a lot better. Because we all know we well we we all agree 18, it's it's crazy to have to lay it all out there and know everything. You're not going to. Mm-hmm. but when you start to fear like when the when the anxiety comes up in you because there's a lack of movement by your teen.

just keep this in mind. Okay, there's a difference between a teen who is uncertain and a teen who is deeply stuck. If your teen is persistently withdrawn, hopeless, unable to function in everyday life, or seems to have lost interest in nearly everything, it may be time for more support. And that's not not a reason to panic or shame them. It's a reason to get curious about what may be underneath the stuckness. So it may be kids struggling with depression, it may be overwhelming anxiety. And and we want to get to that and make sure they have some help with that. Right. Okay. So

In wrapping up this conversation, just be thinking about in this this term. You want to be able to bring it back to the relationship every time. That's always the place that you want to go back to. It's really the only control you have is where are we at in our relationship. Your teen is gonna remember whether conversations about their future felt like an interrogation or an invitation. Okay. So it's gonna make them even more open to it or wanna withdraw from it.

Kyle and Sara Wester (25:13.025)
They will remember whether they felt like a project to manage or a person you truly believed in. Yeah. And your calm belief in them matters more than you may realize. And I want to emphasize that. Your calm belief in them, it truly does matter more than you realize. Your your teen's uncertainty is not a reflection of your failure as a parent. Okay. Just because other families seem to have it all figured out and your kid doesn't, doesn't mean you suck as a parent. That's not the case.

they actually do not need you to hand them the answer. They need you to help them because help them become someone who can find the answers they need. And and remember this too: a meaningful life is not built in one decision. Thank God. A meaningful life is not developed in one decision. It is built through many small choices, small experiences, small relationships.

And moments of courage. I mean, I I'm always telling the teenagers that, Sarah, or the college kids who don't know. I'm like, dude, I had no idea I would be here. And it happened through these sometimes innocuous moments that I was just open to them. Little conversations I had at a coffee shop or something that changed my life. Yeah. Yep. I think that's the more we can help them realize that, remember that in our own lives, then we all can just feel more relaxed. Yeah. And also make that's actually what I want to hit at, Sarah, there is.

That's what makes life exciting. Yeah. You know, this life can be super scary if we let it, because we don't know what's gonna happen from day to day. And to be all honest with you, like any certainty we think we have is kind of an illusion, right? And like that's actually the adventure of life is that you never know. And I'm telling kids that all the time, like if we wrote down right now where you were gonna be five years and you knew exactly it would actually make life super boring because you'd be like, okay, I I have no choices in this. Like the ability to choose and create the life you want to live.

Is actually the excitement of it. Yeah. You know, and we want to be able to give our kids that because we want them to go in and be like, living is fun. Right. So one practical reset that you can do this week is choose one low pressure moment this week. You know, maybe like take a walk or drive somewhere together, or sit beside them while doing something very ordinary. Do not ask them what they're going to do with their life. Just maybe ask a curious question like, hey, what's been interesting you lately?

Kyle and Sara Wester (27:36.962)
What is something you would like to learn how to do? What is something you feel pretty good at? And then listen without trying to turn it into a plan. That's like a fun moment. Yeah. Right? Sounds like a fun moment. That would be. And it'd be cool if that became like just a habit of doing those kind things. Okay. Now, if this if the ep if this episode helped you, if you're a parent and you're you're afraid of this for your teenager, or even think of your little kid who you, you know, you want to make sure they are able to create a fulfilling life. This episode helped you.

Please send it to a parent who's worried about their teen's future. And if you want more brain-based, relationship-centered tools to help your parent with more confidence and less pressure, follow us. If you're not already following us, click that button, follow us so you can get each Monday new episodes that come to you. You don't have to get every answer right. You just have to keep showing up with what? With connection, courage, and calm leadership. We want to thank you so much for joining Sarah and I as we just come alongside you to help you be a calm,

connected leader to your kids. And we appreciate you listening to us today. Have a wonderful day.